Micro aggression Rashid Mursal
I too have been both sides of the coin on the micro aggression issues. I have been passed in a line, as if I was not even there; have been asked what Army are you in? I also remember in boot camp, when our Drill Sergeant was chewing every one, and he came up to me and said what you are doing in my army. I looked at him in the eyes and said it is my army as well. Just few days ago, the woman at our host agency, (Express) told me it has to be “US Passport” when discussing with me a valid substitute document for a driver’s license. Obviously I understood the underlying statement of do not bring me a foreign passport, you foreigner. I usually ignore and act as if I did not understand the real massage.
However, one night when in line in a St. Cloud, MN Sam’s Club store, an elderly white man and woman got in front of me. I have been waiting for a while and answered a call while waiting for my turn. I stated to the “couple” that I was in line before them. They looked back at me and turned right back without saying a word. This was the worst thing they could have done, and I literally threw the cup and went up to the next open customer service clerk. The situation heated up, we exchanged vulgarities, and we left the store.
I would have absolutely been fine to have them go in front of me if they have asked, or even acknowledged after I brought it to their attention. However, I felt if I let them go that they would continue to do similar things to other.
As perpetrator, I have been involved in conversation that dehumanized others based on what group they belong. I have repeated stereotypes about Jews, whites, African Americans, other Somali tribes. I have initiated, participated, or decided it was not up to me to stand up to others in such conversations. In thinking about micro aggression, I now can sense the how hurtful what I have done were to others. Some of this behavior can be assimilation/acculturation phenomena. For example, in the military, if one does not go along with these principles they would be a total outcast.
I sure hope to gain a better understanding and develop from this training effective method of dealing with such situations.
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2 comments:
Rashid, I( a white woman) was told to bring a U.S. Passport if I couldn't bring a driver's license, too. Sometimes offense can be taken when there is none intended.
I remember being at John Adams Middle School and early one morning the gym teacher (a white woman)sent an email and invited other women teachers to come to the pool after school and bring their children-- as she was going to bring her son to play in the pool that afternoon. During the day other teachers responded that they would like to bring their kids and welcomed the invitation. Towards the end of the school day, an African-American woman responded that she would come and bring her son to the pool, as well. It wasn't too long after that the gym teacher sent an email out to all who had responded that she wouldn't be able to have the pool gathering as planned. Her son was ill and wouldn't be able to make it. Should the African-American woman have been offended? Did she feel that the gym teacher was racist and cancelled the gathering because she wanted to bring her son? She was offended and referred to the gym teacher as racist. In fact, the gym teacher's son was sick and the gym teacher had cancelled the gathering because her son was ill and not because she was racist.
Now, in defense of the African-American woman, I don't know if other things had been said/done to make her think that the gym teacher was racist. But I did feel as though I had to defend someone whose actions were honest and not racist.
Sally I see your point about filling the gap with assumptions. However, in my situation, I was the one that offered to bring a passport. I explained to the lady, I can't seem to locate my drivers license, but I am planning to bring my passport, would that be a good enough substitute? She then said we accept only US passports, and repeated it for sure two times if not three times. May be I should have been clearer. Regardless, the lady was just doing her job and I by no means accuse her of racism. I can see how upsetting to be told bring your passport and then sent back if I were to show up with a foreign passport!
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