For my part I believe middle school youngsters would find “Whitewash” thought provoking
and engage in a lively discussion after viewing it. Some would relate to showing solidarity with Angel and writing her a letter to show support. Perhaps a few would remember incidents where they felt hurt and how loved ones and friends had welcomed them back to the warm embrace of healing.
In discussing the program with parents they could get into an argument where they ended up on opposite sides of the issue. Social conventions, such as “received wisdom” from society and respected authority figures, would start to be questioned including racism and nuances of prejudice. Questioning authority in some cases would enable early adolescents to identify with more than one of the characters in Whitewash's narrative. Both girls and perhaps a few boys might identify with the comforting reassuring presence of the grandmother (parental unconditional love). Boys could recall times when they were bullied and were confused about their emotions (did I do enough to help my sister?; did I fight back as much as I could to maintain my own dignity and respect?, etc.).
Despite my cynicism expressed right after the viewing I did gain some hope from watching the film. Art can make a difference in young people's lives. All forms of art, especially music, have pulled me through tough times. The screenplay/script was very well written. It sucker-punched me on three levels – body, mind and spirit. Unpacking this production with adults will make for fiery discourse and self-revealing statements. Assuming I was involved in facilitating a presentation with Whitewash as a jumping off point I could have a devil of a time in keeping my passionate opinions in check (it would be a good exercise in self-restraint!). David
Monday, June 30, 2008
Blog from Thursday's Class...sort of...
So I don’t exactly remember what the blog topic was that we were assigned on Thursday (I know it wasn’t a reflection since we didn’t present), so I’m going to do a little forward thinking about what I think will be important for David and I as we present tonight.
Being as though this is the third presentation the two of us will have together, I think it will be important to put out a very strong performance. After all, the information is all there for us, and the times are laid out accordingly. Speaking of time, I think that is one of the areas that I want to see become fully integrated for us tonight. Admittedly, I don’t think that I’ve worried much about the amount we have , during these presentations, other than when we get flashed the “5 minute” or “1 minute” hand. Obviously, there’s not going to be someone waiting to let us know it’s time to wrap things up, so it will be paramount for us to be on task and stick to the game plan as laid out in the curriculum.
In the spirit of the afore mentioned time management, I think I would like to see David and I take on more of an equals in the front approach rather than a strangers in the night passing the torch sort of thing we’ve had during the first two. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve actually made it work pretty well, besides the whole time issue, but I think we’re not getting the maximum of the solid rapport and support that I see when I’m watching other groups present. I think it will be a new, bold approach for us, and one that will make our facilitation that much stronger.
For myself, it will be yet again just a matter of taking a step back to be coherent and brief in my delivering of the topics in order to get the most out of the participants.
Being as though this is the third presentation the two of us will have together, I think it will be important to put out a very strong performance. After all, the information is all there for us, and the times are laid out accordingly. Speaking of time, I think that is one of the areas that I want to see become fully integrated for us tonight. Admittedly, I don’t think that I’ve worried much about the amount we have , during these presentations, other than when we get flashed the “5 minute” or “1 minute” hand. Obviously, there’s not going to be someone waiting to let us know it’s time to wrap things up, so it will be paramount for us to be on task and stick to the game plan as laid out in the curriculum.
In the spirit of the afore mentioned time management, I think I would like to see David and I take on more of an equals in the front approach rather than a strangers in the night passing the torch sort of thing we’ve had during the first two. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve actually made it work pretty well, besides the whole time issue, but I think we’re not getting the maximum of the solid rapport and support that I see when I’m watching other groups present. I think it will be a new, bold approach for us, and one that will make our facilitation that much stronger.
For myself, it will be yet again just a matter of taking a step back to be coherent and brief in my delivering of the topics in order to get the most out of the participants.
Failed in my duties ...wow
Human beings are the most dangerous species. The latest news talks about the murder of this lovely girl Sparkle . Just is bothering me so much. I guess the very thought of the intensity of this act gives me the shivers. I totally blame the husband, he was totally spineless. Sorry for my anger.
I know there is race discrimination everywhere now I have to face my own fears of what am I going to do to help and educate people from India, gosh are we ever going to change? Where do I begin the education process.
I question myself as to have I really done enough with all the talks I gave in schools and colleges, both informal and formal. Is it bothering me more because it is national news? I know there is within each country a hidden bias based on the skin color, and I knew in India it existed. But will they act on it!
Please feel free to post comments and thoughts this will help me process info better.
I know there is race discrimination everywhere now I have to face my own fears of what am I going to do to help and educate people from India, gosh are we ever going to change? Where do I begin the education process.
I question myself as to have I really done enough with all the talks I gave in schools and colleges, both informal and formal. Is it bothering me more because it is national news? I know there is within each country a hidden bias based on the skin color, and I knew in India it existed. But will they act on it!
Please feel free to post comments and thoughts this will help me process info better.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Reflections from Wednesday's Facilitation
Another day older, another day stronger. I definitely felt a difference between my performance last night and that of Monday night. And, I think that had a positive impact on our presentation as a whole. If one person’s feeling more at ease, then there is going to be a positive reaction from the partner. With that positive reaction, there will be a smoother transitions, easier movements and greater rapport with the students as a result.
It really was interesting to feel a difference for me. To be honest, I don’t usually have a problem with establishing rapport. It’s just something that tends to come somewhat naturally, and yet, it feels a little forced for me in the class. I’m not sure if that’s because it’s more of a simulation then an actual facilitation, or if it’s that I’m just genuinely nervous around all of you (through no fault of your own, of course). Whatever it may be, I am happy to be dealing with it nonetheless, because it will only help me as I go into the classroom in the fall to take on the many challenges that will be presented.
One positive I felt last night was that I was able to slow things down a little bit more and did make some progress toward getting the balance of questions to the class to the answers I have to give them. On the flip side, a negative I felt last night was regarding the same points. I’ve still got some speed reduction to go through, and I still need to keep those questions flowing before I get off on my own tangent. I’ve got to admit that it’s tough to fight that urge to talk about what I am interested in. But I guess that’s a good problem to have, isn’t it?
Matt
It really was interesting to feel a difference for me. To be honest, I don’t usually have a problem with establishing rapport. It’s just something that tends to come somewhat naturally, and yet, it feels a little forced for me in the class. I’m not sure if that’s because it’s more of a simulation then an actual facilitation, or if it’s that I’m just genuinely nervous around all of you (through no fault of your own, of course). Whatever it may be, I am happy to be dealing with it nonetheless, because it will only help me as I go into the classroom in the fall to take on the many challenges that will be presented.
One positive I felt last night was that I was able to slow things down a little bit more and did make some progress toward getting the balance of questions to the class to the answers I have to give them. On the flip side, a negative I felt last night was regarding the same points. I’ve still got some speed reduction to go through, and I still need to keep those questions flowing before I get off on my own tangent. I’ve got to admit that it’s tough to fight that urge to talk about what I am interested in. But I guess that’s a good problem to have, isn’t it?
Matt
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday June 24th about DC Program ...
How is the training going?
I think it is going great. James and Savitha you are doing a great job. Thanks for choosing me, I am lucky to get the opportunity.
It is rather difficult to put in the time I really want to, for my readings etc.
But I know I am trying my best. I am so glad to have another extended family for myself! It is so great to be a part of a diverse group Korea, Somalia, United States, China, India.
As for the facilitation I felt it is not fair for some people to have a larger audience and some to have a smaller audience. :-) ?
1. Hence a suggestion for future training would be to pick a couple days for facilitation and make it mandatory for the whole class to be present may be have that a longer session, may be cut down on 1 class.
2. Great specific feedback. You have a very nice way of correcting us! I think you are too nice.
I would like a meeting with you and Savitha at the middle of our training so you can give it to me straight and point out the things I need to change and give me a reason why you [DC] need it that way! like constructive criticism. We have so much work to do in this world!
I am also OK with an open class session too, but may be others may not be.
3. Can we watch the news clip DVD of the diversity council in the class ?
Energizing and fun training so far.
I think it is going great. James and Savitha you are doing a great job. Thanks for choosing me, I am lucky to get the opportunity.
It is rather difficult to put in the time I really want to, for my readings etc.
But I know I am trying my best. I am so glad to have another extended family for myself! It is so great to be a part of a diverse group Korea, Somalia, United States, China, India.
As for the facilitation I felt it is not fair for some people to have a larger audience and some to have a smaller audience. :-) ?
1. Hence a suggestion for future training would be to pick a couple days for facilitation and make it mandatory for the whole class to be present may be have that a longer session, may be cut down on 1 class.
2. Great specific feedback. You have a very nice way of correcting us! I think you are too nice.
I would like a meeting with you and Savitha at the middle of our training so you can give it to me straight and point out the things I need to change and give me a reason why you [DC] need it that way! like constructive criticism. We have so much work to do in this world!
I am also OK with an open class session too, but may be others may not be.
3. Can we watch the news clip DVD of the diversity council in the class ?
Energizing and fun training so far.
Blog5: Impressions from M, 23 June 08 Training
The 20/20 segment I watched about young men acting as vandals brought up many disturbing emotions for me. It evoked questions about who is my neighbor? What is there about strangers that causes me (us) to be afraid?
And finally I was left with a movement started in Seattle years ago known as NIMBY. This stands for Not In My Back Yard, originally to keep a planned series of freeways from being constructed. Incidentally, their cause was so successful it eventually resulted in some of the worst traffic jams and gridlock in the US of A. Hooray!
Now visualize this NIMBY attitude as a larger reflection of how our culture treats difference and racism. Not only do many whites not want “those people” to inhabit their space; they do not wish to be
challenged to look inside themselves to examine their own xenophobia (fear of the other). Under that rock of fear lives bias, stereotypes, and prejudice. I wish I could say I am without prejudice. As revealed in previous blogs I have shown my true self to be conflicted and biased.
Thanks to God and an adventurous spirit I have been blessed with living in what I refer to as liminal zones. [One dictionary defines liminal: 1) of or having to do with a limen or threshold, especially of
perception. Psychology or Physiology] Out on borderlines between cultures and social constructs I, and hopefully like-minded folk, can gain insights into ways of respecting, living, and appreciating different ways of existing in this diverse world.
This is fueled by being willing to open up to new ethnicities, races, and groupings of people so as to be transformed by their alternative worldview. Admittedly this requires a leap of faith to allow oneself to be transformed by another person's way of life. However, it is one step on a continuum of needed steps to beginning to break down barriers between ourselves and “the other”. And that is what gives me hope to start my day and do the hard work of diversity education.
Say no to Us vs. Them! Say yes to welcoming with open arms those who are not like me....
Blah, blah, blah, woof, woof,..... DAVID (not present even some times when he is present)
The 20/20 segment I watched about young men acting as vandals brought up many disturbing emotions for me. It evoked questions about who is my neighbor? What is there about strangers that causes me (us) to be afraid?
And finally I was left with a movement started in Seattle years ago known as NIMBY. This stands for Not In My Back Yard, originally to keep a planned series of freeways from being constructed. Incidentally, their cause was so successful it eventually resulted in some of the worst traffic jams and gridlock in the US of A. Hooray!
Now visualize this NIMBY attitude as a larger reflection of how our culture treats difference and racism. Not only do many whites not want “those people” to inhabit their space; they do not wish to be
challenged to look inside themselves to examine their own xenophobia (fear of the other). Under that rock of fear lives bias, stereotypes, and prejudice. I wish I could say I am without prejudice. As revealed in previous blogs I have shown my true self to be conflicted and biased.
Thanks to God and an adventurous spirit I have been blessed with living in what I refer to as liminal zones. [One dictionary defines liminal: 1) of or having to do with a limen or threshold, especially of
perception. Psychology or Physiology] Out on borderlines between cultures and social constructs I, and hopefully like-minded folk, can gain insights into ways of respecting, living, and appreciating different ways of existing in this diverse world.
This is fueled by being willing to open up to new ethnicities, races, and groupings of people so as to be transformed by their alternative worldview. Admittedly this requires a leap of faith to allow oneself to be transformed by another person's way of life. However, it is one step on a continuum of needed steps to beginning to break down barriers between ourselves and “the other”. And that is what gives me hope to start my day and do the hard work of diversity education.
Say no to Us vs. Them! Say yes to welcoming with open arms those who are not like me....
Blah, blah, blah, woof, woof,..... DAVID (not present even some times when he is present)
After Reading All Post
Well,
I want to say to each of you, you have really impressed me in many ways. You aptitiude to grasp so pretty cerebral topics and still maintain a good sense of humor. Many of you have really been stretched and I believe that you all have risen to the occasion. As for mistakes and things you could do better, that is what training is for. When you all are at the training you learn from each other and can do some things here that you probably could not do in the class room. This is how you develop your facilitation range, so to speak.
I know that for some, my criticism may have stung a bit, but I want you to know that it in know way is indicative of some type of inadequacy. I have been doing this for some time, but I still have things to learn, and will continue to learn on a daily basis. What matter to me is that you are learning. The process of learning is not always easy, but the attitude with which you learn will help you enjoy the process. You all have done an outstanding job. I am thoroughly impressed and you should be commended.
Thank you for your time and your efforts. You are truly a valuable asset to the world of Diversity!!
Jay
I want to say to each of you, you have really impressed me in many ways. You aptitiude to grasp so pretty cerebral topics and still maintain a good sense of humor. Many of you have really been stretched and I believe that you all have risen to the occasion. As for mistakes and things you could do better, that is what training is for. When you all are at the training you learn from each other and can do some things here that you probably could not do in the class room. This is how you develop your facilitation range, so to speak.
I know that for some, my criticism may have stung a bit, but I want you to know that it in know way is indicative of some type of inadequacy. I have been doing this for some time, but I still have things to learn, and will continue to learn on a daily basis. What matter to me is that you are learning. The process of learning is not always easy, but the attitude with which you learn will help you enjoy the process. You all have done an outstanding job. I am thoroughly impressed and you should be commended.
Thank you for your time and your efforts. You are truly a valuable asset to the world of Diversity!!
Jay
Al: Self Evaluation
I felt pretty good about what our team did. We had the benefit of going last and also one more day to let our intuition work its way. I can't speak for Ji-Yun and we didn't have a chance to connect until just before the class last night, this is pretty much my own view.
There were several things that I was happy about with myself:
I wanted to be authentic and I felt that regardless of age groups when given the encouragement and role-modeling can get into a reflective mode. So often, prejudices (which we all have one form or another) came from we as human beings not taking time to get a feel for people other than ourselves. We let our ego's, our identities our thinking mind define our thoughts and our behavior. Yet, given the right role model and the right teachable moment, all of us can get a feel for what some other people feel, what are their struggles, their sufferings and their longing. So, I decided that the game we would play to get the group in the mood is not to increase mind and body motions. I decided to use Avatar's Compassion Exercise as the introduction game. I have seen it happen again and again the power of that exercise in all age groups. It lets us have empathy for our fellow sentient beings -- including those who typically give us a hard time.
Once I decided that. I knew I had to talk to Ji-Yun about my idea, because the previous night, we had sort of agreed that she would be the one to do the Intro.
I found the best way to communicate that to a friend or a partner is to be honest with them and ask them directly and also with great respect for their help to try out my idea. If I express a need and request politely from my partner for their help to let me try, they will want to help.
Ji-Yun, especially, was delightful in that. She was kind and generous to my request and completely supported me.
Lessons: Be authentic. Ask for help. Be open to suggestions.
I thought the Compassion Exercise put the students in the open and empathetic mode quite well. Rapport was established and good will was established. From there, there was a sense that we all want to elevate our consciousness to a higher level.
We are open to all view points without judgment. We try to see things the other people might see them. It's from that higher plane, tolerance flourishes and fixed viewpoints (biases) are being brought forward to the light to be examined. That is the beginning of creation of an Enlightened Planetary Civilization.
There were several things that I was happy about with myself:
I wanted to be authentic and I felt that regardless of age groups when given the encouragement and role-modeling can get into a reflective mode. So often, prejudices (which we all have one form or another) came from we as human beings not taking time to get a feel for people other than ourselves. We let our ego's, our identities our thinking mind define our thoughts and our behavior. Yet, given the right role model and the right teachable moment, all of us can get a feel for what some other people feel, what are their struggles, their sufferings and their longing. So, I decided that the game we would play to get the group in the mood is not to increase mind and body motions. I decided to use Avatar's Compassion Exercise as the introduction game. I have seen it happen again and again the power of that exercise in all age groups. It lets us have empathy for our fellow sentient beings -- including those who typically give us a hard time.
Once I decided that. I knew I had to talk to Ji-Yun about my idea, because the previous night, we had sort of agreed that she would be the one to do the Intro.
I found the best way to communicate that to a friend or a partner is to be honest with them and ask them directly and also with great respect for their help to try out my idea. If I express a need and request politely from my partner for their help to let me try, they will want to help.
Ji-Yun, especially, was delightful in that. She was kind and generous to my request and completely supported me.
Lessons: Be authentic. Ask for help. Be open to suggestions.
I thought the Compassion Exercise put the students in the open and empathetic mode quite well. Rapport was established and good will was established. From there, there was a sense that we all want to elevate our consciousness to a higher level.
We are open to all view points without judgment. We try to see things the other people might see them. It's from that higher plane, tolerance flourishes and fixed viewpoints (biases) are being brought forward to the light to be examined. That is the beginning of creation of an Enlightened Planetary Civilization.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Evaluation of the First Round of Facilitation
Present in class (413 words)
Sorry I didn’t get this on the blog earlier, but I didn’t get a chance before work this morning. Nevertheless, here we go:
First of all, I agree that we did a great job of pumping out our first mini-facilitation of the training. Everyone held their own and no one collapsed under the scrutiny of brilliantly acted 6th grade class.
In looking at my own work last night, I can certainly see areas of success and areas that need further work. For one, I realize now that I wasn’t really cognizant of my nervousness before the presentation. Thus, I wasn’t ready to take a step back on my rapid speech. As seen, I can be a bit of a fast talker, but it tends to only comes about when I’m a) excited, b) nervous, or c) trying to bring up the energy in a room. Now, I can see how all three were present in this situation, so I’m really just chalking it up to a bit of this and that and planning on hearing from all of you if it continues to present itself as a problem throughout the facilitation process.
Another area of issue was in my preparation of the facilitation and problems the presentation ran into as a result. The plan of action was probably too dependent upon open ended questions that didn’t feed quite enough information to the class to get them talking. Thus, there ended up being too many tangents and not enough ropes to corral those tangents back in. Yet, on the flip side, it was pointed out that I perhaps reacted too far to the other end in that I came back with a little too much lecturing to get things back on track. Yes it might have been in the right movement toward redirection, but in all reality, I ended up waxing poetic just a little too long. I’ll definitely be the first to admit that this an admitted weakness that I have when it comes to my love of diversity issues and balancing that wordy love with a teen’s attention level (it was a fun learning curve for me last school year). Certainly a goal for improvement during the coming weeks.
Overall, not terrible. I think people reacted well to what we had to say and wanted to be involved, even if it was the third time we’d covered the information. Or maybe you’re all just very polite. Either way works for me.
Matt
Sorry I didn’t get this on the blog earlier, but I didn’t get a chance before work this morning. Nevertheless, here we go:
First of all, I agree that we did a great job of pumping out our first mini-facilitation of the training. Everyone held their own and no one collapsed under the scrutiny of brilliantly acted 6th grade class.
In looking at my own work last night, I can certainly see areas of success and areas that need further work. For one, I realize now that I wasn’t really cognizant of my nervousness before the presentation. Thus, I wasn’t ready to take a step back on my rapid speech. As seen, I can be a bit of a fast talker, but it tends to only comes about when I’m a) excited, b) nervous, or c) trying to bring up the energy in a room. Now, I can see how all three were present in this situation, so I’m really just chalking it up to a bit of this and that and planning on hearing from all of you if it continues to present itself as a problem throughout the facilitation process.
Another area of issue was in my preparation of the facilitation and problems the presentation ran into as a result. The plan of action was probably too dependent upon open ended questions that didn’t feed quite enough information to the class to get them talking. Thus, there ended up being too many tangents and not enough ropes to corral those tangents back in. Yet, on the flip side, it was pointed out that I perhaps reacted too far to the other end in that I came back with a little too much lecturing to get things back on track. Yes it might have been in the right movement toward redirection, but in all reality, I ended up waxing poetic just a little too long. I’ll definitely be the first to admit that this an admitted weakness that I have when it comes to my love of diversity issues and balancing that wordy love with a teen’s attention level (it was a fun learning curve for me last school year). Certainly a goal for improvement during the coming weeks.
Overall, not terrible. I think people reacted well to what we had to say and wanted to be involved, even if it was the third time we’d covered the information. Or maybe you’re all just very polite. Either way works for me.
Matt
Sally-Self evaluation of the 1st teaching session, present 265 words
First and foremost, I want to say how impressed I was with all the presentations! I thought each group had well planned interactions and the ideas that each group left with the audience were really great. I enjoy this group and look forward to working with each one of you, in the future. Each one of you is bright, inspiring and just plain awesome!
Now, on to the self evaluation--
I felt my presentation lacked some oomph and should have been better organized. I should have been more specific in my directions to the group. I also should have worked more closely with my partner in deciding was going to be done. I think I was so focused in getting all the parts completed, that I didn't discuss things fully enough with my partner. This left room for "winging it," which can really go south quickly! Understanding that a successful lesson is taught when things are well planned and extra organized is probably one of the reasons that we were so limited in the amount of prep time.
I should have put more time into planning and practicing what was to be presented, instead of assuming that I knew was what was going to happen. I think we did plan interesting activities that got the students engaged in the lesson and asked for a lot of student participation, which was one of our goals.
I hadn’t really thought through the introduction well, and will plan on preparing it differently so that the next time, I present a more polished image to the group who are the “students.”
Now, on to the self evaluation--
I felt my presentation lacked some oomph and should have been better organized. I should have been more specific in my directions to the group. I also should have worked more closely with my partner in deciding was going to be done. I think I was so focused in getting all the parts completed, that I didn't discuss things fully enough with my partner. This left room for "winging it," which can really go south quickly! Understanding that a successful lesson is taught when things are well planned and extra organized is probably one of the reasons that we were so limited in the amount of prep time.
I should have put more time into planning and practicing what was to be presented, instead of assuming that I knew was what was going to happen. I think we did plan interesting activities that got the students engaged in the lesson and asked for a lot of student participation, which was one of our goals.
I hadn’t really thought through the introduction well, and will plan on preparing it differently so that the next time, I present a more polished image to the group who are the “students.”
Seek First To Understand
Folks, I did set my team up a little bit last night for return favors by playing devil's advocate.
Tonight you might expect the following kind of rapport building techniques.
But since I didn't have a chance to check with Ji-Yun, you won't be sure until class time.
=========================================
Here are some ways to ask open ended questions:
Al: We see on the video that nine out of ten passers-by at the park simply walk by and not saying anything to the white kids who are spray-paining and vandalizing a park car. They appear not to notice. Let's say you were one of those nine passers by, what went on in your mind went you just walked by? Jimmy ....
Jimmy; well, I walked by these kids because, I don't know, because I think they are just fooling around with a friend's car.
Al: Just fooling around ... anyone else .... Rash, what do you think might being going on in your mind when you just walk by and not doing anything
Rash: Well, I don't want to speak up because well I was afraid to
===================================================
This could go on for a while and involving other students, just talking about basically why people would do nothing when they see white kids vandalizing someone's car in plain day light in the open.
I would let the conversation flow ... we might even write down some thoughts on the white board.
==== ==================================
Al : Now, with the black kids, the video says that a lot of people called 911, what do you think went through their heads when they made the call ..... Pete, what do you think.
Pete: I don't know. I just think these people are racists. As soon as they saw some black kids, they would think that they are up to no good.
Al: So you think they are racists, because they make the 911 call when they saw the black kids spray painting a car.
Pete; Yes.
Al, anyone else, let's get a little deeper. Let's see if I can change my question a bit.
Let's say that if you were one of those people who make the 911 call when you saw a bunch of black kids spray painting a car. What might go through your head. Mary?
Mary: Well, maybe I was thinking that obviously they are committing a crime. They can't be fooling around. I have never seen this type of people here before. And they don't belong here. They can't be fooling around with a friend's car. They have no friends here.
=======
In fact, as facilitator, I might just ask the kind of questions the reporter on the show asked. Just to let them talk.
===================
Ok,
So, if you were white kids, they were just fooling around, no harm to anyone.
Let's say you are right, the kids were simply fooling around and maybe even trying to create a
work of art as far as you know. How would you think you feel that if you were simply some black kids who just wanted to do some art project in a park and when they do that people call 911 on them?
Jim,
Jim: I would feel pretty bad I guess. I wouldn't feel I have freedom. I would walk around being worried all the time. I would get really angry.
Tonight you might expect the following kind of rapport building techniques.
But since I didn't have a chance to check with Ji-Yun, you won't be sure until class time.
=========================================
Here are some ways to ask open ended questions:
Al: We see on the video that nine out of ten passers-by at the park simply walk by and not saying anything to the white kids who are spray-paining and vandalizing a park car. They appear not to notice. Let's say you were one of those nine passers by, what went on in your mind went you just walked by? Jimmy ....
Jimmy; well, I walked by these kids because, I don't know, because I think they are just fooling around with a friend's car.
Al: Just fooling around ... anyone else .... Rash, what do you think might being going on in your mind when you just walk by and not doing anything
Rash: Well, I don't want to speak up because well I was afraid to
===================================================
This could go on for a while and involving other students, just talking about basically why people would do nothing when they see white kids vandalizing someone's car in plain day light in the open.
I would let the conversation flow ... we might even write down some thoughts on the white board.
==== ==================================
Al : Now, with the black kids, the video says that a lot of people called 911, what do you think went through their heads when they made the call ..... Pete, what do you think.
Pete: I don't know. I just think these people are racists. As soon as they saw some black kids, they would think that they are up to no good.
Al: So you think they are racists, because they make the 911 call when they saw the black kids spray painting a car.
Pete; Yes.
Al, anyone else, let's get a little deeper. Let's see if I can change my question a bit.
Let's say that if you were one of those people who make the 911 call when you saw a bunch of black kids spray painting a car. What might go through your head. Mary?
Mary: Well, maybe I was thinking that obviously they are committing a crime. They can't be fooling around. I have never seen this type of people here before. And they don't belong here. They can't be fooling around with a friend's car. They have no friends here.
=======
In fact, as facilitator, I might just ask the kind of questions the reporter on the show asked. Just to let them talk.
===================
Ok,
So, if you were white kids, they were just fooling around, no harm to anyone.
Let's say you are right, the kids were simply fooling around and maybe even trying to create a
work of art as far as you know. How would you think you feel that if you were simply some black kids who just wanted to do some art project in a park and when they do that people call 911 on them?
Jim,
Jim: I would feel pretty bad I guess. I wouldn't feel I have freedom. I would walk around being worried all the time. I would get really angry.
Al Lun: email address
Here is a suggestion -- could we have the email addresses of folks in the facilitation class?
My email address is albert.lun@gmail.com. Please post yours if you don't mind.
My email address is albert.lun@gmail.com. Please post yours if you don't mind.
June 23 facilitation self evaluation - Vardhini
Present in class:
If I had to do my presentation over:
Introduction:
Hi we are here to have some fun and learn. My name is Vardhini Mohan I am in the US for the past ... I have been with the DC team for a while, you may call me Vardhini ! like ..... and this is my partner .......
icebreaker---> depending on age group
So how many of you have traveled on a plane? ......
International / maps/ travel/ spring breaks with a mission ? what would you like to do?
- hoop activity to emphasize importance of individual strength and collective effort and team work.
adult learner
- shoe for adult learners.
a lesson plan: for adults may work for older kids too
silent auction - intro of neighbor on a piece of paper 3 things from where, nature of person, is that person fun to be with, grouchy, .... transforms to silent caution--> then the individual introduce themselves and we reflect. How what why did we make that assumption.
Rapport of class:
I would need to remind myself to be neutral..... when Sally commented the time of day was different! I caught myself not professional actually I would never point like that in reality, I was ashamed of my behavior, I probably just got overly conscious. I will be neutral.
Subject and flow:
- summarize video happenings by asking each student to tell me 1 scene 30 secs each.
-then my partner will provide the questions- what why how
-I will get back and focus on a the pyramid of hate in the form of questions.
-Partner will do a wake up activity with students based on age - name game; fruits; sports;
- Talk about definitions and some specific examples about each part of the pyramid of hate
-acts of Bias - acts of Prejudice - acts of discrimination - acts of violence -
relate it to the video shown.
Questions from the audience, give them an e-mail where they can ask questions and mail to us and we can answer later - this allows the shy ones who do not like to chat to participate? !
conclusion:
A thought - an activity to experience discrimination vicariously - they own the process-
3 groups need to come up with 2 exercises they can do to experiment how they feel when treated differently, change behavior in their macro environment.
Wondering what it is I will do it in my next presentation! with my partner.
If I had to do my presentation over:
Introduction:
Hi we are here to have some fun and learn. My name is Vardhini Mohan I am in the US for the past ... I have been with the DC team for a while, you may call me Vardhini ! like ..... and this is my partner .......
icebreaker---> depending on age group
So how many of you have traveled on a plane? ......
International / maps/ travel/ spring breaks with a mission ? what would you like to do?
- hoop activity to emphasize importance of individual strength and collective effort and team work.
adult learner
- shoe for adult learners.
a lesson plan: for adults may work for older kids too
silent auction - intro of neighbor on a piece of paper 3 things from where, nature of person, is that person fun to be with, grouchy, .... transforms to silent caution--> then the individual introduce themselves and we reflect. How what why did we make that assumption.
Rapport of class:
I would need to remind myself to be neutral..... when Sally commented the time of day was different! I caught myself not professional actually I would never point like that in reality, I was ashamed of my behavior, I probably just got overly conscious. I will be neutral.
Subject and flow:
- summarize video happenings by asking each student to tell me 1 scene 30 secs each.
-then my partner will provide the questions- what why how
-I will get back and focus on a the pyramid of hate in the form of questions.
-Partner will do a wake up activity with students based on age - name game; fruits; sports;
- Talk about definitions and some specific examples about each part of the pyramid of hate
-acts of Bias - acts of Prejudice - acts of discrimination - acts of violence -
relate it to the video shown.
Questions from the audience, give them an e-mail where they can ask questions and mail to us and we can answer later - this allows the shy ones who do not like to chat to participate? !
conclusion:
A thought - an activity to experience discrimination vicariously - they own the process-
3 groups need to come up with 2 exercises they can do to experiment how they feel when treated differently, change behavior in their macro environment.
Wondering what it is I will do it in my next presentation! with my partner.
June 19 th be the change you want to see
Present in class:
What I think of the quote be the change U want to see? This quote is by Mahatma Gandhi who believed that we must be the change we want to see in the world. He was the catylest to acquire freedom for India from the British.
What I think of the quote be the change U want to see? This quote is by Mahatma Gandhi who believed that we must be the change we want to see in the world. He was the catylest to acquire freedom for India from the British.
What change can we effect? What's the difference we want to make in the world? are some questions I ask myself. Why I am here ? how can I make a difference? do I even matter?
- when I reflect I notice that all significant historical change has occurred as a result of the courage and commitment of individuals; who I wish to call creators of change.
- I wish to believe that everything already exists in this universe, all we have to do is discover and find it and use it to better self and society. and we need to know that we do matter. It is very important to recognize that everything one does, every step, every sentence one writes, every word we speak and /or do not speak--counts. Nothing is trivial. Everything matters.
-To really be the change you want we do not need to be in power, we do not need to be elected, we really even need not be smart, I feel we need commitment for a cause!
-And another point is that we cannot change others unless they want to change themselves. All we can do is be the good example in everyday life to the best of our ability. I know that in a parenting situation children are never good listeners, they love to model, they watch and learn, and the same applies to any kind of audience.
When we as the people are cornered or in a bind, our brain goes in auto mode and is bombarded with a flash of photos, and we just pick a picture we watched and act the same. Visual images are etched and hence it is imperative to make a very conscious effort every single time we act or react. I want to think I am but am I ?
Monday, June 23, 2008
The Overall Message
Last week we have seen and heard a lot of information. Some of it made us sad, some made us angry. And to that effect some of us learned something we didn't know. The purpose of the weeks training was not to create within us a systemic distrust of our society and therefore contribute to the clutter. In fact, I feel I owe some of you an apology, because there is such strong emotions.
But let me offer us this as consolation:
The unique hearts within this class has given us enough room think. Not in terms of thinking about what we can do to change the world, but in what we can do to change ourselves. We are all beautiful and strong, and we have our very own thoughts and bias' to deal with. But the uniqueness of our thoughts and our hopes will put our children, (that is the children of our community) first. We will give them perspective and a chance to think on their own but with a level of love and understanding that can really enhance the way they view life for the positive. Sometimes it is not enough for us to be angry or sad. Sometimes it is not enough for us to want to change the world. But it is always time to offer hope, and love and compassion to everyone. I think back to my incident in Pine Island and realize, I have a right to be angry, but I don't have the right to become like the ideas and sentiments expressed by a single group of individuals within a single community. If I did, then I would in effect be taking their attitudes, their actions, their ideas with me and into my community...and that is the travesty of prejudice and hatred. Our goal is to stop the spread of discrimination. Sometimes that means that we have to understand our enemy, before we can fight against it.
I am an idealist! I believe in hope and justice. But I also believe that if we are to become great facilitators we have to not allow the bitterness of our society to take root in us, because then we become like those who seek to benefit from it.
I love who I am! I believe in hope. I believe there will be a day when discrimination will not be the pervasive action but a gentle reminder of what society would look like if hate was the foundation of what we are.
The human race is beautiful in all it's myriad of colors, and combination of thoughts and ideas. This is how I see, this is what I see. I know the reality. I make the choice to see the beauty of our humanness. Because if I want change then I have to start with me, and know that others will see that hope in me, and be influenced to pay if forward. And if we keep in mind something like this, we can really become a strong force as an agent for change.
Food for thought, you can't eat it but you can always take it with you!
James
But let me offer us this as consolation:
The unique hearts within this class has given us enough room think. Not in terms of thinking about what we can do to change the world, but in what we can do to change ourselves. We are all beautiful and strong, and we have our very own thoughts and bias' to deal with. But the uniqueness of our thoughts and our hopes will put our children, (that is the children of our community) first. We will give them perspective and a chance to think on their own but with a level of love and understanding that can really enhance the way they view life for the positive. Sometimes it is not enough for us to be angry or sad. Sometimes it is not enough for us to want to change the world. But it is always time to offer hope, and love and compassion to everyone. I think back to my incident in Pine Island and realize, I have a right to be angry, but I don't have the right to become like the ideas and sentiments expressed by a single group of individuals within a single community. If I did, then I would in effect be taking their attitudes, their actions, their ideas with me and into my community...and that is the travesty of prejudice and hatred. Our goal is to stop the spread of discrimination. Sometimes that means that we have to understand our enemy, before we can fight against it.
I am an idealist! I believe in hope and justice. But I also believe that if we are to become great facilitators we have to not allow the bitterness of our society to take root in us, because then we become like those who seek to benefit from it.
I love who I am! I believe in hope. I believe there will be a day when discrimination will not be the pervasive action but a gentle reminder of what society would look like if hate was the foundation of what we are.
The human race is beautiful in all it's myriad of colors, and combination of thoughts and ideas. This is how I see, this is what I see. I know the reality. I make the choice to see the beauty of our humanness. Because if I want change then I have to start with me, and know that others will see that hope in me, and be influenced to pay if forward. And if we keep in mind something like this, we can really become a strong force as an agent for change.
Food for thought, you can't eat it but you can always take it with you!
James
Sexism & Patriarchy
Present in class:
My Process of information presented on June 18 th class
I totally enjoyed the actions of just waking up and envisioning the day as is and then imagining we were of the opposite gender and re visioning the runnings of the day! It definitely is a good ice breaker to get conversation started. It made me rethink how engraved sexism is in our society even in American society. Of course the classic very public example is our presidential race this year. I to some extent had the real people's views when I was working.
The sociological definitions opened my eyes to view what I read with caution, and to rethink anything before I speak, and wow I realized how much more we people need to progress.
My thoughts is in order for society to change the sexism and Patriarchy we as women [or the primary care giver of a new born child very consciously need to raise boy babies differently] We have been doing an OK job of empowering the "girl babies" but unless we enlighten the boys right from infancy we cannot balance and change [from a dualistic thinking to a plural optional out of the box thinking] the playing field to "level it" !
Both the presenters were great the exercise about vicariously noticing the white privilege seems not true, but really it is happening even now. On the other hand I must say that major positive changes in dealing with tough issues are being also being initiated by the progressive "white powerful people". So even if we all want to change what we feel is wrong one needs not only the heart and energy but one needs to have or know people in power!
So my motto is
"never give up for a cause you believe in" just go for it selflessly and you will progress"
Have a great day! Smile :-)
My Process of information presented on June 18 th class
I totally enjoyed the actions of just waking up and envisioning the day as is and then imagining we were of the opposite gender and re visioning the runnings of the day! It definitely is a good ice breaker to get conversation started. It made me rethink how engraved sexism is in our society even in American society. Of course the classic very public example is our presidential race this year. I to some extent had the real people's views when I was working.
The sociological definitions opened my eyes to view what I read with caution, and to rethink anything before I speak, and wow I realized how much more we people need to progress.
My thoughts is in order for society to change the sexism and Patriarchy we as women [or the primary care giver of a new born child very consciously need to raise boy babies differently] We have been doing an OK job of empowering the "girl babies" but unless we enlighten the boys right from infancy we cannot balance and change [from a dualistic thinking to a plural optional out of the box thinking] the playing field to "level it" !
Both the presenters were great the exercise about vicariously noticing the white privilege seems not true, but really it is happening even now. On the other hand I must say that major positive changes in dealing with tough issues are being also being initiated by the progressive "white powerful people". So even if we all want to change what we feel is wrong one needs not only the heart and energy but one needs to have or know people in power!
So my motto is
"never give up for a cause you believe in" just go for it selflessly and you will progress"
Have a great day! Smile :-)
Thoughts on Video
Thoughts on Video (572 words - Present)
I’m going to write this reaction to the video Race: The Power of Illusion without trying to be too pessimistic. For the most part in life, I can be quite optimistic, and very enthusiastic about working toward change. However, there are admittedly times when I get very discouraged about our country’s movement toward real change. See, what I kept coming back to throughout the movie was the thought that our present day system of prejudice, racism and intolerance still has many of the same trappings of 50, 100, or even 200 years ago.
As noted in the movie, slavery was not a given in the United States, and had nothing to do with Africans as a foundation. Rather, African slavery didn’t get its foothold until there was a real economic interest in producing crops for export to Europe. But people couldn’t all just be soothed by the thought that subjugating a group of people for our own needs would be all right because we’re making a few bucks. Instead, they needed science to step in and tell us that it was okay, because these men and women had no other plot in life anyway. And this message never really died, it only changed over time. As we moved closer to the Civil War, the message was that African American’s were not only mentally inferior, but that they were morally inferior, and needed whites to keep them from making bad choices. They were akin to a group of teenagers with 5 year-old brains; sexually deviant and unable to make their own lunch. Jump ahead to the present day and we’re still making excuses. Why work to clean up neighborhoods when African Americans simply don’t care? Look at their graduation rates. Look at the levels of violence. Look at the levels of single family homes and drug use. We use so many excuses not to care when we know they are all just that, excuses. Why is it that African Americans, and pretty much every other minority for that matter, have struggled so? Because we have undercut them every step of the way.
One other quick example of how things are intertwined is to parallel the movement of African Americans to that of American Indians. American Indians went from free reign of the land for lets say, thousands of years. Then whites came in and they had free reign of most of the land. From there they went to fighting for the land, to agreeing to inhabit a lot of the land, to agreeing to inhabit a little of the land, to trying to move to new parts of the land, to being stuck on reservations where they had nothing left. That was a quick and dirty version, but bear with me. Now look at African Americans. They were brought to this land and forced to work under slavery for 250 years. Then they went from settling in the South on farms, to having large groups migrate to Northern cities, to being moved into the inner cities, to moving into the suburbs and left behind, to now being moved out of the desirable city neighborhoods today so they can be gentrified. Actually, it’s almost like the reverse of the American Indian saga in a way. White kept following the American Indian wherever they went, stripping them of their land. With African Americans, Whites flee every time African Americans try to move into their territory.
Matt
I’m going to write this reaction to the video Race: The Power of Illusion without trying to be too pessimistic. For the most part in life, I can be quite optimistic, and very enthusiastic about working toward change. However, there are admittedly times when I get very discouraged about our country’s movement toward real change. See, what I kept coming back to throughout the movie was the thought that our present day system of prejudice, racism and intolerance still has many of the same trappings of 50, 100, or even 200 years ago.
As noted in the movie, slavery was not a given in the United States, and had nothing to do with Africans as a foundation. Rather, African slavery didn’t get its foothold until there was a real economic interest in producing crops for export to Europe. But people couldn’t all just be soothed by the thought that subjugating a group of people for our own needs would be all right because we’re making a few bucks. Instead, they needed science to step in and tell us that it was okay, because these men and women had no other plot in life anyway. And this message never really died, it only changed over time. As we moved closer to the Civil War, the message was that African American’s were not only mentally inferior, but that they were morally inferior, and needed whites to keep them from making bad choices. They were akin to a group of teenagers with 5 year-old brains; sexually deviant and unable to make their own lunch. Jump ahead to the present day and we’re still making excuses. Why work to clean up neighborhoods when African Americans simply don’t care? Look at their graduation rates. Look at the levels of violence. Look at the levels of single family homes and drug use. We use so many excuses not to care when we know they are all just that, excuses. Why is it that African Americans, and pretty much every other minority for that matter, have struggled so? Because we have undercut them every step of the way.
One other quick example of how things are intertwined is to parallel the movement of African Americans to that of American Indians. American Indians went from free reign of the land for lets say, thousands of years. Then whites came in and they had free reign of most of the land. From there they went to fighting for the land, to agreeing to inhabit a lot of the land, to agreeing to inhabit a little of the land, to trying to move to new parts of the land, to being stuck on reservations where they had nothing left. That was a quick and dirty version, but bear with me. Now look at African Americans. They were brought to this land and forced to work under slavery for 250 years. Then they went from settling in the South on farms, to having large groups migrate to Northern cities, to being moved into the inner cities, to moving into the suburbs and left behind, to now being moved out of the desirable city neighborhoods today so they can be gentrified. Actually, it’s almost like the reverse of the American Indian saga in a way. White kept following the American Indian wherever they went, stripping them of their land. With African Americans, Whites flee every time African Americans try to move into their territory.
Matt
June 17th MicroAggressions
Present in class:
My Process of information presented on June 17th class
The zig zag of biases-->Stereotypes-->Prejudices--> and Discrimination shed more light on some of my behaviors, and enlightened me to be more careful and more conscious of my actions.
Some of the reactions to the micro aggressions can differ from person to person, based on the genetic endowment; the non shared experiences and the unequal childhoods of the individuals.
My Process of information presented on June 17th class
The zig zag of biases-->Stereotypes-->Prejudices--> and Discrimination shed more light on some of my behaviors, and enlightened me to be more careful and more conscious of my actions.
Some of the reactions to the micro aggressions can differ from person to person, based on the genetic endowment; the non shared experiences and the unequal childhoods of the individuals.
All of the arguments since time, and now, like one race is better than the other of course the best race is the "white" and that blacks were treated the worst, are based on a false understanding of race. We know that the contemporary scientists are not agreeing on whether race is a valid way to classify people.
What may seem to be significant "racial" differences to some people - skin color, hair, facial shape - are not of much scientific significance. In fact, genetic differences within a so-called race may be greater than those between races. I do not think that those differences that most deeply affect us in our day to day actions and dealings with each other has any connection to being biologically determined. Knowing this from my life experience and my readings, I question myself as to why do I act in certain ways that may be I am inactively participating in biases, and stereotypes prejudices and discrimination? How can I change more?
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Th, 19 Jun 08
What is my most pervasive thought from today's instruction...
My initial impression from the film clips I saw this evening was great sadness and low
spirits. Especially, from the second one “The House We Live In”, expressing where we are with inequalities in housing, economic opportunity, and accumulation of wealth.
George Clinton, noted musical leader of Parliament/Funkadelic, summed up our metropolitan areas as “chocolate cities and vanilla suburbs”. This dovetails nicely with the message of “The House We Live In”. Perhaps I am getting too cynical to be surprised by our US governmental complicity in policies encouraging red-lining urban neighborhoods. Rather than shocking me it offered further confirmation of another evil misdeed done in my name. For when our government acts it does so knowing it has at least tacit approval from US citizens (us!). Me, too!
One aspect of our first film clip, “The Story We Tell”, emphasizes how race as a social construct came to be gradually from the Pilgrims to Jefferson and beyond. Although I was familiar with much of the historical evidence it was helpful to once again see an arc of unity and “race as a unifying force of national identity”. Our treatment of Native-Americans, African slaves, and people of color is the US of A's original sin. Unless white people, including me, admit their gain from perpetual positions of privilege we as a nation will not begin to heal from the evil of racism.
When current observers insist we need to close our borders, build fences/walls, patrol our boundaries, and keep out foreigners what is their underlying agenda? It is clearly, whether they admit it or not, a racist movement. [In talking to a friend who works in community organizing, and deals with race and racists regularly, he cites their protestations of innocence. “Immigration reform” is a buzz phrase too often associated with people wishing to close our borders. To what are they appealing and whom are they counting on to lend support to their cause?] Closing our national frontiers is akin to red-lining sections of US cities. - David -
What is my most pervasive thought from today's instruction...
My initial impression from the film clips I saw this evening was great sadness and low
spirits. Especially, from the second one “The House We Live In”, expressing where we are with inequalities in housing, economic opportunity, and accumulation of wealth.
George Clinton, noted musical leader of Parliament/Funkadelic, summed up our metropolitan areas as “chocolate cities and vanilla suburbs”. This dovetails nicely with the message of “The House We Live In”. Perhaps I am getting too cynical to be surprised by our US governmental complicity in policies encouraging red-lining urban neighborhoods. Rather than shocking me it offered further confirmation of another evil misdeed done in my name. For when our government acts it does so knowing it has at least tacit approval from US citizens (us!). Me, too!
One aspect of our first film clip, “The Story We Tell”, emphasizes how race as a social construct came to be gradually from the Pilgrims to Jefferson and beyond. Although I was familiar with much of the historical evidence it was helpful to once again see an arc of unity and “race as a unifying force of national identity”. Our treatment of Native-Americans, African slaves, and people of color is the US of A's original sin. Unless white people, including me, admit their gain from perpetual positions of privilege we as a nation will not begin to heal from the evil of racism.
When current observers insist we need to close our borders, build fences/walls, patrol our boundaries, and keep out foreigners what is their underlying agenda? It is clearly, whether they admit it or not, a racist movement. [In talking to a friend who works in community organizing, and deals with race and racists regularly, he cites their protestations of innocence. “Immigration reform” is a buzz phrase too often associated with people wishing to close our borders. To what are they appealing and whom are they counting on to lend support to their cause?] Closing our national frontiers is akin to red-lining sections of US cities. - David -
Ji-Yun-My pervasive thoughts from today's lesson
Today's lesson reminded me of the concept of 'self-deception' that I read about in a book called 'Leadership and Self-Deception'. A person deceives (or betrays) oneself when they act contray to what they feel they should do and when they betray themselves they begin to see the world in a way that justifies their self-betrayal. When they see a self-justifying world, their view of reality becomes distorted and they enter a box. Overtime, certain box becomes the characteristic of them and carry that with them. Why do they choose to betray themselves instead honoring what they feel and know is right may be based on several causes. I want to say when it shows in a collective form like this it is due to lack of personal power. There are several levels of personal power and they were exercising power by association. When people want to feel powerful but they are lack of the pewrsonal power (the more importantly internal power as someone mentioned in the blog) they associate to form power.
In case of slavery it was a collective, societal self-betrayal. People at that time knew that 'all men are created equal'. Most of them knew that their actions were contray to their belief but they chose to betray the belief and then began their justification by bringing in science and reasoning. Those of us who have a bit of science background are well aware that selection, processing and interpretation of data can always represent the researcher's intent. They had to make something, somebody wrong to make themselves right. So the society was built on that betrayal or the box. What we experience today as a society is the result of the societal betrayal of the past. The society as a whole needs to be out of the box.
In case of slavery it was a collective, societal self-betrayal. People at that time knew that 'all men are created equal'. Most of them knew that their actions were contray to their belief but they chose to betray the belief and then began their justification by bringing in science and reasoning. Those of us who have a bit of science background are well aware that selection, processing and interpretation of data can always represent the researcher's intent. They had to make something, somebody wrong to make themselves right. So the society was built on that betrayal or the box. What we experience today as a society is the result of the societal betrayal of the past. The society as a whole needs to be out of the box.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Bill Moyers' Journal On Race
I happened to watch Bill Moyers' Journal tonight. It talks about the things that our group would be interested in.
Sally--What are my pervasive thoughts from today's lessons? Present, 263 Words
I found the first video to contain familiar information. I knew a lot of it from history classes and reading. I did notice in almost all of the pictures of slaves/African Americans, the eyes had been altered. Did anyone else notice the eyes of the slaves were like “goat eyes?” The pupils weren’t round, but instead were vertical slits. It made the people look sinister… I wonder if that was done recently or at the time the photo was taken? What was the purpose?
The second video contained information that was all new to me. I had no idea any of that prejudicial treatment had taken place. I am astounded that the US government behaved in such a way! I have a different prospective about the government and minorities. I knew about the Native Americans and slavery. I thought our government had made a mistake and had tried correct it. The definition of “white” and the housing loans were blatantly wrong!
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) said, “There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified and new prejudices to be opposed.”
I suppose that at some point, people will look at our views and knowledge of science and think that we are foolish just as we look at some of the early phrenologists and think that attributing personality traits to the shape and size of one’s skull is outrageous, as well. In the future, it will become common knowledge that all races began from the same people. Our definition on race will certainly have to change. As will our treatment of one another.
The second video contained information that was all new to me. I had no idea any of that prejudicial treatment had taken place. I am astounded that the US government behaved in such a way! I have a different prospective about the government and minorities. I knew about the Native Americans and slavery. I thought our government had made a mistake and had tried correct it. The definition of “white” and the housing loans were blatantly wrong!
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) said, “There are, in every age, new errors to be rectified and new prejudices to be opposed.”
I suppose that at some point, people will look at our views and knowledge of science and think that we are foolish just as we look at some of the early phrenologists and think that attributing personality traits to the shape and size of one’s skull is outrageous, as well. In the future, it will become common knowledge that all races began from the same people. Our definition on race will certainly have to change. As will our treatment of one another.
Al Lun: What are my pervasive thoughts from today's lessons?
I have seen the videos before.
It was George Thompson, former president of Diversity Council, running a race awareness session at Rochester Unitarian Church, who showed that. As I remember now the group was mostly white. There were two African Americans, there might have been a Hispanic, but I don't remember for sure now. I might have been the only Asian.
What stood out in my mind about that group was that there was a person there - a woman - who could pass easily as white told us her experience as part native American. In fact, she identified herself more to her native American heritage than white. That itself brought home the message from the video -- what exactly is race? One would think that she would want to cling more to her whiteness especially in America and maybe in the world, being white (as we have talked about and I have personally observed even outside US) has subtle privileges. Why would anyone who could pass as white chose the other identity.
I didn't ask her that question. Now years later, let me speculate. Eckhart Tolle in his book A New Earth talks about pain body, which is the idea that every human being has some backdrop of sadness. Pain body explains why occasionally for no good reasons we have bad moods. Thoughts pop into our head as if from nowhere that causes us to suffer, a flash of sadness, anger, or negativity. He says that nations and races also have pain body. It is a culmination of negativity, anger, betrayal, greed, shame that collectively tag onto a country or a people. He claims you can feel it in the air. And America because of its exploitation, and massacre of Native Americans and enslavement of Africans, has a particular heavy pain body.
That might explain why someone would choose her Indianness vs white Americanness as an identification. In her case the pain body of being a white American might be stronger than the privilege that came with it. It's the ultimate decision to identify with victims instead of with the conquerors. Come to think of it that was the message from Kevin Costner's movie Dances with Wolves.
And conscious of of this then in order for white Americans to be happier or more at peace, they must work for atonement, -- it is their collective pain body that they must heal --- this is true regardless the claim that it was generations past who had commit ed the atrocities.
It's only when they dedicate themselves to equality and to right what was wrong, could they begin to find peace of mind.
=================================
Watching segments on the post-war housing and financial boom to white Americans to the exclusion of blacks, I am reminded the importance for all Americans to be vigilant. The remnants and residuals of systematic depriving black people of economic grains is a persistent bondage and yoke. There is complacency and ignorance of the historical fact. African Americans in general are left far behind the starting gate. Some say we no longer need affirmative action. I say until the playing field is truly level, we must lend a helping hand to fellow citizens who have been systematically left behind to have a head start.
It is the moral thing to do, it is atonement, and it is also the only way we can reduce our pain body.
It was George Thompson, former president of Diversity Council, running a race awareness session at Rochester Unitarian Church, who showed that. As I remember now the group was mostly white. There were two African Americans, there might have been a Hispanic, but I don't remember for sure now. I might have been the only Asian.
What stood out in my mind about that group was that there was a person there - a woman - who could pass easily as white told us her experience as part native American. In fact, she identified herself more to her native American heritage than white. That itself brought home the message from the video -- what exactly is race? One would think that she would want to cling more to her whiteness especially in America and maybe in the world, being white (as we have talked about and I have personally observed even outside US) has subtle privileges. Why would anyone who could pass as white chose the other identity.
I didn't ask her that question. Now years later, let me speculate. Eckhart Tolle in his book A New Earth talks about pain body, which is the idea that every human being has some backdrop of sadness. Pain body explains why occasionally for no good reasons we have bad moods. Thoughts pop into our head as if from nowhere that causes us to suffer, a flash of sadness, anger, or negativity. He says that nations and races also have pain body. It is a culmination of negativity, anger, betrayal, greed, shame that collectively tag onto a country or a people. He claims you can feel it in the air. And America because of its exploitation, and massacre of Native Americans and enslavement of Africans, has a particular heavy pain body.
That might explain why someone would choose her Indianness vs white Americanness as an identification. In her case the pain body of being a white American might be stronger than the privilege that came with it. It's the ultimate decision to identify with victims instead of with the conquerors. Come to think of it that was the message from Kevin Costner's movie Dances with Wolves.
And conscious of of this then in order for white Americans to be happier or more at peace, they must work for atonement, -- it is their collective pain body that they must heal --- this is true regardless the claim that it was generations past who had commit ed the atrocities.
It's only when they dedicate themselves to equality and to right what was wrong, could they begin to find peace of mind.
=================================
Watching segments on the post-war housing and financial boom to white Americans to the exclusion of blacks, I am reminded the importance for all Americans to be vigilant. The remnants and residuals of systematic depriving black people of economic grains is a persistent bondage and yoke. There is complacency and ignorance of the historical fact. African Americans in general are left far behind the starting gate. Some say we no longer need affirmative action. I say until the playing field is truly level, we must lend a helping hand to fellow citizens who have been systematically left behind to have a head start.
It is the moral thing to do, it is atonement, and it is also the only way we can reduce our pain body.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
If sex, gender, and sexuality are constructs, our society has made up and perpetuate in daily life, what purpose do they continue to serve
If sex, gender, and sexuality are constructs, our society has made up and perpetuate in daily life, what purpose do they continue to serve?
Present for class, 243 words.
This is really a touchy questions and I would like to share my prospective without either intentionally offending anyone or nodding along just to avoid saying what I really believe. I totally admit / agree with the notion that gender and sexuality are partially constructs of our society. As human beings with self-awareness, we have to know right from wrong. Yes, Yes, I cannot tell you who should decide if something is right or wrong. There just have to be a line not to be crossed. Perhaps every society can decide for itself where that line should be drawn. Every one that wants to be a member of a society has to respect the laws and norms the society has set in place. I think it is possible to live in harmony with society. This type of situation currently exists in the United States, as it is okay to be homo, bi, heterosexual or asexual. There is also, nothing against infidelity, or cohabitation without legal marriage. However, it is against the law to be in a polygamy or incest relationship.
Obviously the current system benefits, men and particularly in the US white men. Much of this is due to human nature and long standing mindsets. Therefore, I watch the situation with cautious optimism.
Present for class, 243 words.
This is really a touchy questions and I would like to share my prospective without either intentionally offending anyone or nodding along just to avoid saying what I really believe. I totally admit / agree with the notion that gender and sexuality are partially constructs of our society. As human beings with self-awareness, we have to know right from wrong. Yes, Yes, I cannot tell you who should decide if something is right or wrong. There just have to be a line not to be crossed. Perhaps every society can decide for itself where that line should be drawn. Every one that wants to be a member of a society has to respect the laws and norms the society has set in place. I think it is possible to live in harmony with society. This type of situation currently exists in the United States, as it is okay to be homo, bi, heterosexual or asexual. There is also, nothing against infidelity, or cohabitation without legal marriage. However, it is against the law to be in a polygamy or incest relationship.
Obviously the current system benefits, men and particularly in the US white men. Much of this is due to human nature and long standing mindsets. Therefore, I watch the situation with cautious optimism.
Sally-Ladder of Inference, Not Present,
Ladder of Inference-This is what I believed as a child of 5.
Actions: I make a fort outside and feed birds and squirrels.
Beliefs: I am related to nature and animals.
Conclusions: I am dark like Native Americans, I must be a Native American.
Assumptions: I was adopted.
Meanings: I didn’t belong in this family.
Data: I was different.
Observable data: My 3 siblings were boys who had blue eyes and blonde hair and very fair skin. My parents and known grandparents had blonde hair and blue eyes.
Actions: I make a fort outside and feed birds and squirrels.
Beliefs: I am related to nature and animals.
Conclusions: I am dark like Native Americans, I must be a Native American.
Assumptions: I was adopted.
Meanings: I didn’t belong in this family.
Data: I was different.
Observable data: My 3 siblings were boys who had blue eyes and blonde hair and very fair skin. My parents and known grandparents had blonde hair and blue eyes.
Sally: If Ses, Gender constructs...Presentd, 277 words
If sex, gender and sexuality are constructs our society has made up and perpetuate in daily life, what purpose do they continue to serve?
The values and attitudes we hold come from a variety of sources and are reinforced in many different ways. They have a powerful influence on our thoughts, feelings and behavior, as well as on our relationships.
In our society there is a code of written laws and guidelines to safeguard every person and there are unwritten rules we carry in our heads.
Many of the unwritten rules tell us that we “should,” “ ought” or “must” behave in certain ways. Not all of them are positive or helpful. Some of them can be contradictory, or do not seem to fit with our experience.
Often we can recognize unwritten rules by listening for the words “should,” “ought” and “must,” in the things that are said. If we hear ourselves or other people using them, we can ask ourselves whether it is an unwritten rule which helps or hinders us in feeling safe. By recognizing the unwritten rules in society we can begin to develop an understanding of our values, where they come from and identify possible changes in them we may want to make.
In terms of sex, gender and sexuality, roles were defined in order to help people understand relationships to one another. By defining social rules, we are able to define and predict behavior. But some of these rules were established for reasons that no longer exist, or were needless to begin with. By educating others and giving accurate information, we can change these ideas that are no longer appropriate or needed.
The values and attitudes we hold come from a variety of sources and are reinforced in many different ways. They have a powerful influence on our thoughts, feelings and behavior, as well as on our relationships.
In our society there is a code of written laws and guidelines to safeguard every person and there are unwritten rules we carry in our heads.
Many of the unwritten rules tell us that we “should,” “ ought” or “must” behave in certain ways. Not all of them are positive or helpful. Some of them can be contradictory, or do not seem to fit with our experience.
Often we can recognize unwritten rules by listening for the words “should,” “ought” and “must,” in the things that are said. If we hear ourselves or other people using them, we can ask ourselves whether it is an unwritten rule which helps or hinders us in feeling safe. By recognizing the unwritten rules in society we can begin to develop an understanding of our values, where they come from and identify possible changes in them we may want to make.
In terms of sex, gender and sexuality, roles were defined in order to help people understand relationships to one another. By defining social rules, we are able to define and predict behavior. But some of these rules were established for reasons that no longer exist, or were needless to begin with. By educating others and giving accurate information, we can change these ideas that are no longer appropriate or needed.
Sally Microagressions-Not Present-542 words
I think we are talking about leveling the playing field for those of differente races—making people equal. In doing that, I think there should be an understanding between people. There should be another column under microaggression’s; that is what the person who is committing the microaggression really means. This would create a level of understanding between cultures. I agree that people should be taught what behaviors/comments are offensive. But education should go two ways and explain one person’s views to another so that the intent of the action is understood.
I lived in England for a year while I was in college in the early 1970’s. I got working papers through a program run by the United Nations. While I was in London, I lived in a area that was heavily populated by Jamaican’s and people from India—two cultures I knew very little about. I worked as a waitress in a restaurant near Marble Arch—there were lots of tourists (both from England and from other parts of the globe) who came into the restaurant. I was 19 years old, at the time, and looked much, much younger than that. As soon as I opened my mouth to speak, people knew that I wasn’t from England. Usually 4 questions followed. 1) Where are you from? 2) How old are you? and once they found I was from the United States, they would ask 3) Are you American Indian? and 4) Do you know Donny Osmond? I understood that people were genuinely curious about the United States and wanted to know more about it. It really made me aware that it is in all of us to be curious about other people. I felt as if I were an agent of the United Nations and were helping people—one person at a time—to understand about the US and its people. I think it is part of our responsibility to the world to educate others about our land of origin, its complexities and to be respectful and responsible stewards of that country. When people asked me where I was from, they really wanted to know! They had no experience with American Indians or Donny Osmond and wanted to take from mine and learn.
I understand that it is tedious to be repeatedly asked the same questions, but I also felt that I gained each time I explained and answered. I gained a better understanding of what it meant to be who I am, what it means to be a part of the world’s population, what another’s view of the US was and finally, what the positive and negative aspects of the US were to other countries. I think those are pretty powerful lessons.
As a woman who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s, I understand the condescending remarks and attitudes of the group with power. I have felt those pressures in the work place and with the good ole boys who have predominantly run public education (the male gym teachers are the ones who become the principals/superintendents in schools systems). I think there are microaggressions committed against people who are overweight (as I am). But I know that getting angry about it isn’t the way to change it—only education and understanding can do that.
I lived in England for a year while I was in college in the early 1970’s. I got working papers through a program run by the United Nations. While I was in London, I lived in a area that was heavily populated by Jamaican’s and people from India—two cultures I knew very little about. I worked as a waitress in a restaurant near Marble Arch—there were lots of tourists (both from England and from other parts of the globe) who came into the restaurant. I was 19 years old, at the time, and looked much, much younger than that. As soon as I opened my mouth to speak, people knew that I wasn’t from England. Usually 4 questions followed. 1) Where are you from? 2) How old are you? and once they found I was from the United States, they would ask 3) Are you American Indian? and 4) Do you know Donny Osmond? I understood that people were genuinely curious about the United States and wanted to know more about it. It really made me aware that it is in all of us to be curious about other people. I felt as if I were an agent of the United Nations and were helping people—one person at a time—to understand about the US and its people. I think it is part of our responsibility to the world to educate others about our land of origin, its complexities and to be respectful and responsible stewards of that country. When people asked me where I was from, they really wanted to know! They had no experience with American Indians or Donny Osmond and wanted to take from mine and learn.
I understand that it is tedious to be repeatedly asked the same questions, but I also felt that I gained each time I explained and answered. I gained a better understanding of what it meant to be who I am, what it means to be a part of the world’s population, what another’s view of the US was and finally, what the positive and negative aspects of the US were to other countries. I think those are pretty powerful lessons.
As a woman who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s, I understand the condescending remarks and attitudes of the group with power. I have felt those pressures in the work place and with the good ole boys who have predominantly run public education (the male gym teachers are the ones who become the principals/superintendents in schools systems). I think there are microaggressions committed against people who are overweight (as I am). But I know that getting angry about it isn’t the way to change it—only education and understanding can do that.
Al: What is the purpose?
My thoughts on this statement: "If sex, gender, and sexuality are constructs our society has made up, and we perpetuate in daily life, what purpose do they continue to serve?"
First, I don't buy the sweeping premise of the if statement. It is way too extreme. Yes, Char did give us a number of examples that mistakes sometimes are made by professionals (doctors and maybe other healthcare providers) in determing the sex (male or female) of the new born baby and thus potentially leading to wrong surgical operations being done to intervene. but I am not ready to accept that in the United States that this is statistically signifant problem, say compared to the number of people dying of cancer, heart attacks, etc. Furthermore, I would been astounded if parents do not have the final word to approve such a procedure. In short, I do not subscribe to the extreme view that society has the last word on sex, gender and sexuality which the premise suggests.
And what and who is this society. The statement would imply that it is They and not us or not me. It's they that set the rules ... the constructs. It's they who decide. It absolves personal responsibilities.
Our country, imperfect as it is, is a democracy. Society is made up of us. And there is every hope and evidence that are we are open to dialog, debate and arguments. I am fond of watching CPAN where callers representing different perspectives call in and sometimes they really utter some very extreme view points. I admire the moderator's demeanor to remain neutral to hear everyone no matter what their tone might be. It's throught more and more this kind of open dialog that socieity itself will evolve and will become more tolarant, more enlightened.
I guess what I saying is that I don't agree with the sweeping premise that society or they or whatever make up these constructs. It implies we are robots and we live in a autocratic country, which we are not.
In addition I also reject the notion that we have to automatically perpectuate societal rules. That implies we have no choice. My own journey is to live deliberately and not live under indoctrinations or beliefs either self-imposed, from experts, religions or cultures that on closer examinations violate the golden rule: "Treat others as we would like to be treated."
However, the constructs I would follow is nature (not society). If you let nature operate and evolve and not impose rules on them it will seek a higher ground and enlightend state.
So, while labels (sex, sexuality, gender and what are expected by society) are not very useful but our physical nature which is part of nature and does serve a purpose and the most basic purpose is reproduction and continuation of life but I also accept not everyone in our species is needed to participate in the reproduction of life.
Everything under the sun has its place and purpose under heaven. Our job is to let it be naturally. Sometimes the irony is that we have to speak up in order to let nature be.
First, I don't buy the sweeping premise of the if statement. It is way too extreme. Yes, Char did give us a number of examples that mistakes sometimes are made by professionals (doctors and maybe other healthcare providers) in determing the sex (male or female) of the new born baby and thus potentially leading to wrong surgical operations being done to intervene. but I am not ready to accept that in the United States that this is statistically signifant problem, say compared to the number of people dying of cancer, heart attacks, etc. Furthermore, I would been astounded if parents do not have the final word to approve such a procedure. In short, I do not subscribe to the extreme view that society has the last word on sex, gender and sexuality which the premise suggests.
And what and who is this society. The statement would imply that it is They and not us or not me. It's they that set the rules ... the constructs. It's they who decide. It absolves personal responsibilities.
Our country, imperfect as it is, is a democracy. Society is made up of us. And there is every hope and evidence that are we are open to dialog, debate and arguments. I am fond of watching CPAN where callers representing different perspectives call in and sometimes they really utter some very extreme view points. I admire the moderator's demeanor to remain neutral to hear everyone no matter what their tone might be. It's throught more and more this kind of open dialog that socieity itself will evolve and will become more tolarant, more enlightened.
I guess what I saying is that I don't agree with the sweeping premise that society or they or whatever make up these constructs. It implies we are robots and we live in a autocratic country, which we are not.
In addition I also reject the notion that we have to automatically perpectuate societal rules. That implies we have no choice. My own journey is to live deliberately and not live under indoctrinations or beliefs either self-imposed, from experts, religions or cultures that on closer examinations violate the golden rule: "Treat others as we would like to be treated."
However, the constructs I would follow is nature (not society). If you let nature operate and evolve and not impose rules on them it will seek a higher ground and enlightend state.
So, while labels (sex, sexuality, gender and what are expected by society) are not very useful but our physical nature which is part of nature and does serve a purpose and the most basic purpose is reproduction and continuation of life but I also accept not everyone in our species is needed to participate in the reproduction of life.
Everything under the sun has its place and purpose under heaven. Our job is to let it be naturally. Sometimes the irony is that we have to speak up in order to let nature be.
David If sex, gender, and sexuality are constructs our society has made up, and we perpetuate in daily life, what purpose do they continue to serve?
They act as instruments of power and control. As long as everyone understands their roles and place then hopefully US society will function smoothly. My use of the word hopefully is key because with gay rights and feminist movements in recent years some folks have felt lost in a strange land. For my part I do not buy into standard US male roles and stereotypes and never will. And this has made we wonder where I fit in. Living an outsider status can only carry me so far. I'm not interested in prolonging and perpetuating social constructs that seem dead and out of step with our culture.
Let me make it clear. With our continued deification of the family as the basis of cultural stability these social constructs serve as guardians of “correct” living. Channeling biological human desire seems to be at least one reason for our constructs. However, gender roles and stereotypes are outmoded and I feel ought to be adjusted. There are so many exceptions they seem out of step with my experience and the lives of many other people. {This is where I wish I had the chance to discuss this with fellow training participants...}
Whom do these constructs benefit and what would gender equality look like?
White males, as US society currently functions, benefit the most from these constructs. Gender equality is a wonderful goal. Last night Kay Hocker warned us “Being colorblind will not end racism.” Similarly, gender equality is not a panacea. Tensions between men and women, confusion over gender roles, and sexual desire will not magically go away. Working toward gender equality is essential, however. From a justice perspective alone it is necessary. Envisioning US culture and a world where all people are valued is not pie in the sky. This is where working with you folks, Diversity Council, Superintendent Dr.
Dallemond, and other interested parties comes in. It would take hard work and I am up for it. Are you ready to “Imagine” with me?
They act as instruments of power and control. As long as everyone understands their roles and place then hopefully US society will function smoothly. My use of the word hopefully is key because with gay rights and feminist movements in recent years some folks have felt lost in a strange land. For my part I do not buy into standard US male roles and stereotypes and never will. And this has made we wonder where I fit in. Living an outsider status can only carry me so far. I'm not interested in prolonging and perpetuating social constructs that seem dead and out of step with our culture.
Let me make it clear. With our continued deification of the family as the basis of cultural stability these social constructs serve as guardians of “correct” living. Channeling biological human desire seems to be at least one reason for our constructs. However, gender roles and stereotypes are outmoded and I feel ought to be adjusted. There are so many exceptions they seem out of step with my experience and the lives of many other people. {This is where I wish I had the chance to discuss this with fellow training participants...}
Whom do these constructs benefit and what would gender equality look like?
White males, as US society currently functions, benefit the most from these constructs. Gender equality is a wonderful goal. Last night Kay Hocker warned us “Being colorblind will not end racism.” Similarly, gender equality is not a panacea. Tensions between men and women, confusion over gender roles, and sexual desire will not magically go away. Working toward gender equality is essential, however. From a justice perspective alone it is necessary. Envisioning US culture and a world where all people are valued is not pie in the sky. This is where working with you folks, Diversity Council, Superintendent Dr.
Dallemond, and other interested parties comes in. It would take hard work and I am up for it. Are you ready to “Imagine” with me?
Blog Question
Present (327 words)
The first part of this question regarding sexuality as a social construct and its purpose, is almost a rhetorical question to me. There is no truth behind these thoughts, feelings and beliefs regarding the “weaker” sex, but it is with the power that these thoughts create that much of our male dominated society operates. If we were to start acknowledging women for their full potential in business, then there goes the glass ceiling. Do you really think that some members of the status quo want that sort of change to take place? Does male dominated society really want to admit that gay men can do more than run fashion shows on the Bravo Network? To have power, a group must be able to take it away, or continue to keep it from another. To be feminine is to be weak, to put your family at least on an equal to your work is to be unworthy of executive level work.
In terms of what gender equality would look like in our society, I think things would change just a little bit. Child rearing would be considered a valued part of our society that cares for and nurtures the abilities and connections of our future leaders. In addition, women wouldn’t be assumed to have to work the “second shift” when they get home from work, having to cook, clean and take care of the children while the husband relaxes. Women CEOs would no longer be tokens of our present day “equality”, and rather would be just another valued voice among many different viewpoints in the executive world. Terms like gay, lesbo, dyke, faggot and the like would lose their power among those who feel they convey a weakness in the recipient. In essence, exercises like this would become more about how did we get to this point, rather than how can we get to that point? And that would be a great place to be.
Matt
The first part of this question regarding sexuality as a social construct and its purpose, is almost a rhetorical question to me. There is no truth behind these thoughts, feelings and beliefs regarding the “weaker” sex, but it is with the power that these thoughts create that much of our male dominated society operates. If we were to start acknowledging women for their full potential in business, then there goes the glass ceiling. Do you really think that some members of the status quo want that sort of change to take place? Does male dominated society really want to admit that gay men can do more than run fashion shows on the Bravo Network? To have power, a group must be able to take it away, or continue to keep it from another. To be feminine is to be weak, to put your family at least on an equal to your work is to be unworthy of executive level work.
In terms of what gender equality would look like in our society, I think things would change just a little bit. Child rearing would be considered a valued part of our society that cares for and nurtures the abilities and connections of our future leaders. In addition, women wouldn’t be assumed to have to work the “second shift” when they get home from work, having to cook, clean and take care of the children while the husband relaxes. Women CEOs would no longer be tokens of our present day “equality”, and rather would be just another valued voice among many different viewpoints in the executive world. Terms like gay, lesbo, dyke, faggot and the like would lose their power among those who feel they convey a weakness in the recipient. In essence, exercises like this would become more about how did we get to this point, rather than how can we get to that point? And that would be a great place to be.
Matt
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Weds. 18 June 08 David Not Present Ladder of Inference (Mindsets exercise)
Actions I give advice, offer support, and reinforce these beliefs based on projecting
myself (emotions, events, and opinions) onto my friend.
Beliefs Breaking out of generational cycles is difficult if not impossible.
My beliefs are grounded in my family and personal issues.
Conclusions The son's problems are not his own; they are generational.
His patterns are based on parental models; parental cycles are tied to their
parent's models...
Assumptions I assume the son has followed in his father's footsteps based on patterns
learned from my parents.
Meanings Problems of previous generation revisit their children. In my own life this
has been so.
“Data” Son has drug and alcohol dependency problems. My friend (father) still
uses himself.
“Data” & Agitation of my friend connected to arguments and difficulties with the
Experiences behavior of his son.
In this Reflexive Loop I look for and select parts of a person's story that most closely
resemble my own. So I chose to zero in on the fact that my friend is trying to convince
his son to stop doing crazy stuff (using on the job) while the father still uses at home. To say this loop is rather limiting is obvious. **My bias is influenced by my years of drug abuse and ways of dealing with it. My excuse was based on my parents and their friends “social” (heavy) drinking and its effects on their lives. Although I see the fallacy and weakness of surrendering to a blame and shame mindset it can be hard to break this cycle. Projection of my own issues and hangups onto other persons is dangerous and not helpful in meeting people, especially intimates, where they are.
David Not Present Reflections on Microaggressions
While serving as a missionary in Haiti I would sometimes go for morning runs on the
streets of Port-au-Prince. One day a Haitian man yelled out of his open car window
“Yankee go home!” At the moment he confronted me I was surprised. In my recollection
this was one of only a few incidents where I felt hostility from Haitians. It did give me a
mixture of emotions. Anger at being lumped in with other “yankees.” I was upset because
of my commitment to aiding Haitian people. Also, I remember saying to myself, “Bud, as a matter of fact I am going home. Tomorrow, to be precise.” There were myriad feelings because I was heading back early from my three year term. I'm not sure what prompted the outburst although it seemed intentional at the time.
There are countless microaggressions I unintentionally commit. 1) At my place of work we are situated not far from St. Mary's Hospital. Often I detect odd, interesting accents and often inquire where they are from. Although I think, from my perspective, this is an
innocent question there are assumptions behind the inquiry. Despite the fact that I have
had many stimulating conversations with these visitors and residents I have not stopped
to consider what it is like from their point of view. 2) In seminary on several occasions I
was confronted by women about statements I made that were deemed sexist or insensitive. These declarations were no doubt unintentional. They were also revealing in how much I had to learn about my unconscious programming of patriarchal attitudes.
3) When I am in HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) watch out. There have been times when I have reacted to situations experiencing just one or two of those categories. You do not want to be near when I am in all four! Once I recall projecting my imbalance on my Aunt when she was gushing over something of which I had little interest. I did this in front of my family. She called me on it and I learned to be more careful in the future. What I said I did with the intention of ticking her off.
Actions I give advice, offer support, and reinforce these beliefs based on projecting
myself (emotions, events, and opinions) onto my friend.
Beliefs Breaking out of generational cycles is difficult if not impossible.
My beliefs are grounded in my family and personal issues.
Conclusions The son's problems are not his own; they are generational.
His patterns are based on parental models; parental cycles are tied to their
parent's models...
Assumptions I assume the son has followed in his father's footsteps based on patterns
learned from my parents.
Meanings Problems of previous generation revisit their children. In my own life this
has been so.
“Data” Son has drug and alcohol dependency problems. My friend (father) still
uses himself.
“Data” & Agitation of my friend connected to arguments and difficulties with the
Experiences behavior of his son.
In this Reflexive Loop I look for and select parts of a person's story that most closely
resemble my own. So I chose to zero in on the fact that my friend is trying to convince
his son to stop doing crazy stuff (using on the job) while the father still uses at home. To say this loop is rather limiting is obvious. **My bias is influenced by my years of drug abuse and ways of dealing with it. My excuse was based on my parents and their friends “social” (heavy) drinking and its effects on their lives. Although I see the fallacy and weakness of surrendering to a blame and shame mindset it can be hard to break this cycle. Projection of my own issues and hangups onto other persons is dangerous and not helpful in meeting people, especially intimates, where they are.
David Not Present Reflections on Microaggressions
While serving as a missionary in Haiti I would sometimes go for morning runs on the
streets of Port-au-Prince. One day a Haitian man yelled out of his open car window
“Yankee go home!” At the moment he confronted me I was surprised. In my recollection
this was one of only a few incidents where I felt hostility from Haitians. It did give me a
mixture of emotions. Anger at being lumped in with other “yankees.” I was upset because
of my commitment to aiding Haitian people. Also, I remember saying to myself, “Bud, as a matter of fact I am going home. Tomorrow, to be precise.” There were myriad feelings because I was heading back early from my three year term. I'm not sure what prompted the outburst although it seemed intentional at the time.
There are countless microaggressions I unintentionally commit. 1) At my place of work we are situated not far from St. Mary's Hospital. Often I detect odd, interesting accents and often inquire where they are from. Although I think, from my perspective, this is an
innocent question there are assumptions behind the inquiry. Despite the fact that I have
had many stimulating conversations with these visitors and residents I have not stopped
to consider what it is like from their point of view. 2) In seminary on several occasions I
was confronted by women about statements I made that were deemed sexist or insensitive. These declarations were no doubt unintentional. They were also revealing in how much I had to learn about my unconscious programming of patriarchal attitudes.
3) When I am in HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) watch out. There have been times when I have reacted to situations experiencing just one or two of those categories. You do not want to be near when I am in all four! Once I recall projecting my imbalance on my Aunt when she was gushing over something of which I had little interest. I did this in front of my family. She called me on it and I learned to be more careful in the future. What I said I did with the intention of ticking her off.
Latter of Inference, in class, 244 wordsf
Ladder of Inference;
In class
244 words.
When I came to New York, my uncle who sponsored us and a man renting a room from him got into a fight. The person trashed the house while my uncle was at work. The tenant was later arrested and upon being released, he came to the house with couple of cops. He told them that he owned everything in his room and he was there to collect.
My uncle jumped in and said some of the furniture was his. They argued back and forth my uncle saying, the staff will remain here, go and prove you ownership. The other guy and the cops were saying, we will take and you come after us. After an intense argument, my uncle blocking the door, the cops manhandled him bad. Thy kneed him, put the handcuffs to the point they damaged the nerves in his hands. I was watching all this and at some point entertained pulling the police officer’s pistol to use it for defending my uncle.
Now every time I hear a police brutality I add to my list of why I do not want be involved with the cups. I know about cases in New York, California, Minneapolis and many other places. Obviously, there are more good things being done by police in every town, and I do hear some, but for some reason filter them out. The bad ones stick with me, not exactly the way it should be.
In class
244 words.
When I came to New York, my uncle who sponsored us and a man renting a room from him got into a fight. The person trashed the house while my uncle was at work. The tenant was later arrested and upon being released, he came to the house with couple of cops. He told them that he owned everything in his room and he was there to collect.
My uncle jumped in and said some of the furniture was his. They argued back and forth my uncle saying, the staff will remain here, go and prove you ownership. The other guy and the cops were saying, we will take and you come after us. After an intense argument, my uncle blocking the door, the cops manhandled him bad. Thy kneed him, put the handcuffs to the point they damaged the nerves in his hands. I was watching all this and at some point entertained pulling the police officer’s pistol to use it for defending my uncle.
Now every time I hear a police brutality I add to my list of why I do not want be involved with the cups. I know about cases in New York, California, Minneapolis and many other places. Obviously, there are more good things being done by police in every town, and I do hear some, but for some reason filter them out. The bad ones stick with me, not exactly the way it should be.
Microaggression
Micro aggression Rashid Mursal
I too have been both sides of the coin on the micro aggression issues. I have been passed in a line, as if I was not even there; have been asked what Army are you in? I also remember in boot camp, when our Drill Sergeant was chewing every one, and he came up to me and said what you are doing in my army. I looked at him in the eyes and said it is my army as well. Just few days ago, the woman at our host agency, (Express) told me it has to be “US Passport” when discussing with me a valid substitute document for a driver’s license. Obviously I understood the underlying statement of do not bring me a foreign passport, you foreigner. I usually ignore and act as if I did not understand the real massage.
However, one night when in line in a St. Cloud, MN Sam’s Club store, an elderly white man and woman got in front of me. I have been waiting for a while and answered a call while waiting for my turn. I stated to the “couple” that I was in line before them. They looked back at me and turned right back without saying a word. This was the worst thing they could have done, and I literally threw the cup and went up to the next open customer service clerk. The situation heated up, we exchanged vulgarities, and we left the store.
I would have absolutely been fine to have them go in front of me if they have asked, or even acknowledged after I brought it to their attention. However, I felt if I let them go that they would continue to do similar things to other.
As perpetrator, I have been involved in conversation that dehumanized others based on what group they belong. I have repeated stereotypes about Jews, whites, African Americans, other Somali tribes. I have initiated, participated, or decided it was not up to me to stand up to others in such conversations. In thinking about micro aggression, I now can sense the how hurtful what I have done were to others. Some of this behavior can be assimilation/acculturation phenomena. For example, in the military, if one does not go along with these principles they would be a total outcast.
I sure hope to gain a better understanding and develop from this training effective method of dealing with such situations.
I too have been both sides of the coin on the micro aggression issues. I have been passed in a line, as if I was not even there; have been asked what Army are you in? I also remember in boot camp, when our Drill Sergeant was chewing every one, and he came up to me and said what you are doing in my army. I looked at him in the eyes and said it is my army as well. Just few days ago, the woman at our host agency, (Express) told me it has to be “US Passport” when discussing with me a valid substitute document for a driver’s license. Obviously I understood the underlying statement of do not bring me a foreign passport, you foreigner. I usually ignore and act as if I did not understand the real massage.
However, one night when in line in a St. Cloud, MN Sam’s Club store, an elderly white man and woman got in front of me. I have been waiting for a while and answered a call while waiting for my turn. I stated to the “couple” that I was in line before them. They looked back at me and turned right back without saying a word. This was the worst thing they could have done, and I literally threw the cup and went up to the next open customer service clerk. The situation heated up, we exchanged vulgarities, and we left the store.
I would have absolutely been fine to have them go in front of me if they have asked, or even acknowledged after I brought it to their attention. However, I felt if I let them go that they would continue to do similar things to other.
As perpetrator, I have been involved in conversation that dehumanized others based on what group they belong. I have repeated stereotypes about Jews, whites, African Americans, other Somali tribes. I have initiated, participated, or decided it was not up to me to stand up to others in such conversations. In thinking about micro aggression, I now can sense the how hurtful what I have done were to others. Some of this behavior can be assimilation/acculturation phenomena. For example, in the military, if one does not go along with these principles they would be a total outcast.
I sure hope to gain a better understanding and develop from this training effective method of dealing with such situations.
Pyramid of Hate
I have been on both sides of the pyramid of hate: both a perpetrator and a target.
When I was in seventh grade in Hong Kong, I was in an all boys school. There were two students, classmates of mine, always got picked on. And I was one of those insensitive bullies. We picked on them because they acted feminine--ast least in our eyes. As I recall now, they were nice, gentle, non-threatening people. But in our eyes, they were easy targets. I might have even be the worst. I used to tease them and just taunt them. Thinking back now, I feel really bad about my behavior. How they felt growing up with me and the other students picking on them is something that I could only imagine. The only saving grace for me was that I left that school a couple of years later and somehow outgrew that adolescent brutishness. But I still shudder from time to time what scars I and the other bullies in our school have left on our two nice class-mates -- who have done nothing wrong. They just want to be left alone.
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I was walking into Mayo Clinic's Baldwin Building one early morning for my appointment. Just ahead of me was an older man. As we got closer to the subway lobby entrace, he turned around and asked me, "Where are you from?"
It was either too early in the morning or the fact that I have lived in the United States for close to 40 yeares and Rochester for twenty years that caused me to reply without too much thinking. I said: "I am from Rochester."
I could tell from the expression on his face that he didn't like my answer. He turned his back to me and continued to walk into the building while grumbled under his breath, audibly, "Foreigner!"
At first I didn't quite get what just happened. What did he just say to me? He didn't call me by one of those derogatory names that people sometimes call people of my race. But what he did call me was loaded with emotions and meanings nonetheless. He had contempt for me. He was outraged by my reply which he thought was a smart alecky remark. To him he must have thought I was being smart aleck, he had a pre-conceived idea that I would say I was from China, Vietnam, or Cambodia. From there he would probaly start a friendly conversation with me about "my" country of origin--how in the Korean war he had stopped by some Far East port and had a good time there.
But when I said I was from Rochester, I appeared to him I was a pretender, a forigner pretending good enough to think he was American. I didn't look American.
I personally was more amused by his behavior though shaken up a bit but recovered quickly. I didn't let that stay with me very long. But with this blog, as I think about the incident, I now wondered if that man has children or grandchildren and what kind of biases and prejudices and judgment might he have spread to them. It might be just as little as an sense of arrogance or superiority to people who don't quite look like they could be from Rochester or might be worse -- though I hope not.
In any case, for a number of years now I have decided that I would be very careful not to stereotype people and lump them into a category or being insensitive. I am not always perfect but I try to remove as many layers of biases as possible when I discover them in myself.
Also I try to tolerate small things or mistakes that others may commit. It's not a bad way to live.
When I was in seventh grade in Hong Kong, I was in an all boys school. There were two students, classmates of mine, always got picked on. And I was one of those insensitive bullies. We picked on them because they acted feminine--ast least in our eyes. As I recall now, they were nice, gentle, non-threatening people. But in our eyes, they were easy targets. I might have even be the worst. I used to tease them and just taunt them. Thinking back now, I feel really bad about my behavior. How they felt growing up with me and the other students picking on them is something that I could only imagine. The only saving grace for me was that I left that school a couple of years later and somehow outgrew that adolescent brutishness. But I still shudder from time to time what scars I and the other bullies in our school have left on our two nice class-mates -- who have done nothing wrong. They just want to be left alone.
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I was walking into Mayo Clinic's Baldwin Building one early morning for my appointment. Just ahead of me was an older man. As we got closer to the subway lobby entrace, he turned around and asked me, "Where are you from?"
It was either too early in the morning or the fact that I have lived in the United States for close to 40 yeares and Rochester for twenty years that caused me to reply without too much thinking. I said: "I am from Rochester."
I could tell from the expression on his face that he didn't like my answer. He turned his back to me and continued to walk into the building while grumbled under his breath, audibly, "Foreigner!"
At first I didn't quite get what just happened. What did he just say to me? He didn't call me by one of those derogatory names that people sometimes call people of my race. But what he did call me was loaded with emotions and meanings nonetheless. He had contempt for me. He was outraged by my reply which he thought was a smart alecky remark. To him he must have thought I was being smart aleck, he had a pre-conceived idea that I would say I was from China, Vietnam, or Cambodia. From there he would probaly start a friendly conversation with me about "my" country of origin--how in the Korean war he had stopped by some Far East port and had a good time there.
But when I said I was from Rochester, I appeared to him I was a pretender, a forigner pretending good enough to think he was American. I didn't look American.
I personally was more amused by his behavior though shaken up a bit but recovered quickly. I didn't let that stay with me very long. But with this blog, as I think about the incident, I now wondered if that man has children or grandchildren and what kind of biases and prejudices and judgment might he have spread to them. It might be just as little as an sense of arrogance or superiority to people who don't quite look like they could be from Rochester or might be worse -- though I hope not.
In any case, for a number of years now I have decided that I would be very careful not to stereotype people and lump them into a category or being insensitive. I am not always perfect but I try to remove as many layers of biases as possible when I discover them in myself.
Also I try to tolerate small things or mistakes that others may commit. It's not a bad way to live.
How to deal with feeling of uncomfortable?
What makes human beings special is that we are the only living species that have the ability to be aware that we are aware. It's an endowed gift. Some call it self-awareness, others call it consciousness. There are moments that when we quiet our mind, stop our thinking, let go of our identities and judgment, we can get in touch with that awareness that we are aware.
Here is an example of my being aware that I am aware.
I was attending as a guest at a Rotary Club downtown . My host, my friend who had invited to visit the club, was quite a bit late. Now I could have waited for him at the hotel lobby so we could go into the conference room together. Doing that would be more comfortable because it would be conventional and I wouldn't feel as much like a stranger. As I became aware of my feelings, I was also aware that I had a choice. I accepted my feelings of being uncomfortable.
Yes, I felt uneasy to walk into a gathering with people whom I have never met before, yes, I had a little annoyance about where was Tim, why wasn't he here to greet me -- after all he was my host and it was him who invited me there.
Then I stilled my mind and I accepted my situation and my discomfort. I changed my perspective that this was a moment for me to be myself -- I am me. I always have a choice. I chose to accept my discomfort and in fact it made me feel alive.
Once I decided that Tim was really going to be late, and the meeting was about to start. there really was no reason to wait for him anymore. Uncomfortable or not, I simply walked into the room and introduce myself to the a nice woman who clearly looked like she had the role of a greeter. I told her no I was not from another Rotary Club, I was here as a guest but smiled to say that Tim looked like was awol. We both laughed. She gave me a visitor badge and I went up to front of the room and sat down at a table and introduced myself to other people.
The program started. The president of the club introduced me as a guest just when Tim walked in. Tim actually had good reasons to be late. He later told me what it was.
The point is that because I was aware that I had a choice and that I am not my feelings (my discomfort) I can choose to act according to my intuition. It's a tool that all of us have. We just need to use it more and practice using it more. Be comfortable with your feelings including being uncomfortable.
And I should also mention I was the only Asian in that room.
Here is an example of my being aware that I am aware.
I was attending as a guest at a Rotary Club downtown . My host, my friend who had invited to visit the club, was quite a bit late. Now I could have waited for him at the hotel lobby so we could go into the conference room together. Doing that would be more comfortable because it would be conventional and I wouldn't feel as much like a stranger. As I became aware of my feelings, I was also aware that I had a choice. I accepted my feelings of being uncomfortable.
Yes, I felt uneasy to walk into a gathering with people whom I have never met before, yes, I had a little annoyance about where was Tim, why wasn't he here to greet me -- after all he was my host and it was him who invited me there.
Then I stilled my mind and I accepted my situation and my discomfort. I changed my perspective that this was a moment for me to be myself -- I am me. I always have a choice. I chose to accept my discomfort and in fact it made me feel alive.
Once I decided that Tim was really going to be late, and the meeting was about to start. there really was no reason to wait for him anymore. Uncomfortable or not, I simply walked into the room and introduce myself to the a nice woman who clearly looked like she had the role of a greeter. I told her no I was not from another Rotary Club, I was here as a guest but smiled to say that Tim looked like was awol. We both laughed. She gave me a visitor badge and I went up to front of the room and sat down at a table and introduced myself to other people.
The program started. The president of the club introduced me as a guest just when Tim walked in. Tim actually had good reasons to be late. He later told me what it was.
The point is that because I was aware that I had a choice and that I am not my feelings (my discomfort) I can choose to act according to my intuition. It's a tool that all of us have. We just need to use it more and practice using it more. Be comfortable with your feelings including being uncomfortable.
And I should also mention I was the only Asian in that room.
Reflections on the Microagressions Article
Not Present (724 words)
Being a young, white, heterosexual male, the number of microagressions I have experienced in my life will pale in many ways to those of other races, ethnicities, religions, genders and sexual statuses. However, I can think of a couple of examples in which it has come up, and in retrospect, how easy I think it probably was for me to break down barriers as compared to someone in situation where the roles were flip-flopped.
My first example comes from my time volunteering in the Hennepin County Juvenile Detention Center. For about a year and a half, I was a volunteer Chaplin there on Saturday mornings. It was a great opportunity, and while I was quiet faithful, I did end up using a lot of the time to do more discussion on life goals and planning for re-entrance into society. It was an interesting feeling for many of these young men who were mostly members of racial minorities. And, it was something I could see on their faces every time I walked through the door. An announcement would be made, “This is Matt, he’s here to talk with any of you about life if you would like.” Heads look up from card games, books, and meals for a second to hear the message, and then go back down to what they were doing. Granted, most days I didn’t hear guys say “what’s this white guy know about my life?” but it wasn’t unheard of. Rather, it was almost a weekly climb back up the mountain to regain their trust. Yes, I did have certain guys on each floor that were regulars who would smile when they saw me as much as I’d smile when I saw them. But there were other times where I’d spend the whole time I was there trying to make headway and not crack the barrier, because no matter what I’d say, no matter what I knew about their specific block in Minneapolis, there’s no way I could know THEIR life. And maybe they were right. Reading books, hearing stories, seeing the homes of those you work with may teach you a lot, but it doesn’t live the life for you. In a way though, I always told them that was an advantage to me. I knew the running tape that many whites would have in their heads about them. I knew what it was like to get the support to succeed and I had the opportunity to give some of that back to them. It didn’t always work, but those microagressions that I was able to break through ultimately turned out to be a blessing in that they brought the relationship I had with several of those guys even closer over time.
My second example of this sort of situation would be in some of my work for the Diversity Council, in fact. Though some of my work in one of the middle school programs, I have encountered more than a few situations in which I’ll hear, in a moment of frustration from one of the students, “you’re only singling me out because I’m [insert a race] or you’re a racist.” Now granted, these statements are coming out of an individual who has just been called out for talking or being generally out of line in class, possibly even having been warned before, so there is mostly likely some grasping for straws to deflect some of the guilt. However, therein lays some truth about some of the student’s feelings. I sure it is difficult in its own way to hear about diversity from a white male. Why should they have to listen to a guy like me tell them about the unique heritage of Mexican Americans? What do I know about what it’s like to be a woman in the present day? Am I black? Then don’t talk to the class about what is offensive to black people when we cover the stereotypes section. Now mind you, none of this really bothered me, because I knew it was something that would come up. However, it is something that I always liked to take note of, because it really did give me a view into the mind’s eye of that student. And it is in that mind’s eye that I could really get to the root of what made them tick.
Matt
Being a young, white, heterosexual male, the number of microagressions I have experienced in my life will pale in many ways to those of other races, ethnicities, religions, genders and sexual statuses. However, I can think of a couple of examples in which it has come up, and in retrospect, how easy I think it probably was for me to break down barriers as compared to someone in situation where the roles were flip-flopped.
My first example comes from my time volunteering in the Hennepin County Juvenile Detention Center. For about a year and a half, I was a volunteer Chaplin there on Saturday mornings. It was a great opportunity, and while I was quiet faithful, I did end up using a lot of the time to do more discussion on life goals and planning for re-entrance into society. It was an interesting feeling for many of these young men who were mostly members of racial minorities. And, it was something I could see on their faces every time I walked through the door. An announcement would be made, “This is Matt, he’s here to talk with any of you about life if you would like.” Heads look up from card games, books, and meals for a second to hear the message, and then go back down to what they were doing. Granted, most days I didn’t hear guys say “what’s this white guy know about my life?” but it wasn’t unheard of. Rather, it was almost a weekly climb back up the mountain to regain their trust. Yes, I did have certain guys on each floor that were regulars who would smile when they saw me as much as I’d smile when I saw them. But there were other times where I’d spend the whole time I was there trying to make headway and not crack the barrier, because no matter what I’d say, no matter what I knew about their specific block in Minneapolis, there’s no way I could know THEIR life. And maybe they were right. Reading books, hearing stories, seeing the homes of those you work with may teach you a lot, but it doesn’t live the life for you. In a way though, I always told them that was an advantage to me. I knew the running tape that many whites would have in their heads about them. I knew what it was like to get the support to succeed and I had the opportunity to give some of that back to them. It didn’t always work, but those microagressions that I was able to break through ultimately turned out to be a blessing in that they brought the relationship I had with several of those guys even closer over time.
My second example of this sort of situation would be in some of my work for the Diversity Council, in fact. Though some of my work in one of the middle school programs, I have encountered more than a few situations in which I’ll hear, in a moment of frustration from one of the students, “you’re only singling me out because I’m [insert a race] or you’re a racist.” Now granted, these statements are coming out of an individual who has just been called out for talking or being generally out of line in class, possibly even having been warned before, so there is mostly likely some grasping for straws to deflect some of the guilt. However, therein lays some truth about some of the student’s feelings. I sure it is difficult in its own way to hear about diversity from a white male. Why should they have to listen to a guy like me tell them about the unique heritage of Mexican Americans? What do I know about what it’s like to be a woman in the present day? Am I black? Then don’t talk to the class about what is offensive to black people when we cover the stereotypes section. Now mind you, none of this really bothered me, because I knew it was something that would come up. However, it is something that I always liked to take note of, because it really did give me a view into the mind’s eye of that student. And it is in that mind’s eye that I could really get to the root of what made them tick.
Matt
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
How do you negotiate the feeling of being uncomfortable?
It is inevitable to run into situations that make one uncomfortable and I am no exception to this by any means. However, in thinking about the ways other than the basic flee or fight methods, I tend to be a bit blunter than I consciously would think. In slightly uncomfortable situations, I state my feelings in the situation, because I think it is hard to conceal the feeling of being uncomfortable. Even if I were to say nothing, it would be obvious from my nonverbal posture, so instead of leaving it up there for interpretation, I would jump on the opportunity to explain it from my prospective. In addition, explaining and talking about what it is that makes me uncomfortable tends to elevate the level of discomfort.
I like to believe that I always use my moral, and what I believe is right and wrong, however, society has succeeded instilling us to be careful. Just a like a little child touching hot object for the first time, the consequences of breaking the norms is real and consequential. However, this line of thinking is not applicable to every culture. What is considered respectful in one culture could be a total dishonor in another. So I literally, as many multicultural folks, have to maintain two different and at times apposing concepts of dealing with situations that make me uncomfortable. Some of the coping methods in my arsenal, put the situation in a question format, express it as feeling, assertively state the situation or if extreme jump right to anger and defensive mode.
Rashka
I like to believe that I always use my moral, and what I believe is right and wrong, however, society has succeeded instilling us to be careful. Just a like a little child touching hot object for the first time, the consequences of breaking the norms is real and consequential. However, this line of thinking is not applicable to every culture. What is considered respectful in one culture could be a total dishonor in another. So I literally, as many multicultural folks, have to maintain two different and at times apposing concepts of dealing with situations that make me uncomfortable. Some of the coping methods in my arsenal, put the situation in a question format, express it as feeling, assertively state the situation or if extreme jump right to anger and defensive mode.
Rashka
Sally (Present, 267 Words) Reflections on the Pyramid of Hate
Fire and Ice
By Robert Frost
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Hate is learned, it is something we are taught for self-preservation, safety and the preservation of our community/culture. Many of the reasons for hating are based on misunderstanding or lack of information. The Pyramid of Hate describes the levels of abuse that, historically, have been done to human beings in order for one group to dominate another and preserve their community/religion/culture/dreams. Any 5th grader understands the hurt of exclusion and how peer pressure can make one do things that wouldn’t ordinarily be considered as acceptable behavior.
I understand hatred. I understand fear and the desperate feeling of protecting what is precious to me. I know that I have bias’ that are both conscious and unconscious. I don’t think one can be free from bias or prejudice, but one can work to understand how the misinformation has become a bias. I think it will be a long time in coming before we are free of hatred. There is a large part of me that believes that it is, in part, human nature. But, I also believe that human beings function at a level of thought that allows for one to be rational and act on emotions that are tamed, rather than animal-like.
By Robert Frost
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Hate is learned, it is something we are taught for self-preservation, safety and the preservation of our community/culture. Many of the reasons for hating are based on misunderstanding or lack of information. The Pyramid of Hate describes the levels of abuse that, historically, have been done to human beings in order for one group to dominate another and preserve their community/religion/culture/dreams. Any 5th grader understands the hurt of exclusion and how peer pressure can make one do things that wouldn’t ordinarily be considered as acceptable behavior.
I understand hatred. I understand fear and the desperate feeling of protecting what is precious to me. I know that I have bias’ that are both conscious and unconscious. I don’t think one can be free from bias or prejudice, but one can work to understand how the misinformation has become a bias. I think it will be a long time in coming before we are free of hatred. There is a large part of me that believes that it is, in part, human nature. But, I also believe that human beings function at a level of thought that allows for one to be rational and act on emotions that are tamed, rather than animal-like.
Sally ( Present; 258 Words) How do you negotiate the feeling of being uncomfortable?
Sally ( Present; 258 Words)
How do you negotiate the feeling of being uncomfortable?
Conflict makes me uncomfortable, even though I understand that it is the source for change. I mentally accept the premise that ideas and change come from someone being uncomfortable with the status quo. It leads one to an investigation of what is understood and then branches into that magic moment of an epiphany. That being said, being uncomfortable is that raw, cold emotion; before the thought process kicks in, before one can side-step the feelings and focus on what is expected.
Society has many rules that we are taught consciously and unconsciously. These rules are specifically in place to organize communities into groups so that people know what to expect and limit one’s source of “uncomfortableness.” That being said, there are societal norms that must be changed, and the only way to do that is to make one uncomfortable so that an analysis of the source of the uncomfortable feeling may be completed.
I tend to navigate from being uncomfortable to anger, disbelief and then reach an understanding—or a calm spot—before I can proceed. This brings to mind a Joni Mitchell song with the lyrics of “Laughing and crying—you know it’s the same release.”
There is also a quote from Martin Buber that fits this thought process, “There are three principles in a person's being and life, the principle of thought, the principle of speech, and the principle of action. The origin of all conflict between me and others is that I do not say what I mean and I don't do what I say.”
How do you negotiate the feeling of being uncomfortable?
Conflict makes me uncomfortable, even though I understand that it is the source for change. I mentally accept the premise that ideas and change come from someone being uncomfortable with the status quo. It leads one to an investigation of what is understood and then branches into that magic moment of an epiphany. That being said, being uncomfortable is that raw, cold emotion; before the thought process kicks in, before one can side-step the feelings and focus on what is expected.
Society has many rules that we are taught consciously and unconsciously. These rules are specifically in place to organize communities into groups so that people know what to expect and limit one’s source of “uncomfortableness.” That being said, there are societal norms that must be changed, and the only way to do that is to make one uncomfortable so that an analysis of the source of the uncomfortable feeling may be completed.
I tend to navigate from being uncomfortable to anger, disbelief and then reach an understanding—or a calm spot—before I can proceed. This brings to mind a Joni Mitchell song with the lyrics of “Laughing and crying—you know it’s the same release.”
There is also a quote from Martin Buber that fits this thought process, “There are three principles in a person's being and life, the principle of thought, the principle of speech, and the principle of action. The origin of all conflict between me and others is that I do not say what I mean and I don't do what I say.”
negotiate an uncomfortable feeling -333 words
Present in class Monday June 16th 08
Negotiate the feeling of being uncomfortable?
This takes a whole different perspective for me, because of my origin of birth, my gender, and also upbringing. I feel that societal norms quite often dictate how I react as well. That said and reflecting back I feel I have had to negotiate myself twice as hard to get what I wanted. And I have most often found myself in the fighting instinct rather that the flight or run away place.
As a child I have known to get a lot of attention for saying what I think. I guess they thought I was “cute” so that gave me the courage to go on. But as a young adult I got in trouble a lot, for asking defying questions confront my dad, ask him why can my brother do it and why can I not? I remember very clearly not fearing the consequence, I am not sure if that might have been the most intelligent way to handle things in all situations?
Sad but true now a days life’s challenges sometimes forces me to have pity parties! I have been fleeing the scene and I need to get my passion back, and keep my focus get educated and give it back.
David Marcham Reflection on Pyramid of Hate M, 16 JUNE 2008
When I was dumped from my Kansas church I moved to an apartment complex with cheap rent.
Right below my apartment a group of young African-American men would congregate most evenings. I was in ill humor from my feelings of rejection and being unemployed. For a period of time they seemed to get more uncomfortable with me and I with them. One day I met one young man in the laundromat and I explained my situation to him and he opened up to me. They were primarily from Florida on scholarship to play on the college football team. In Florida their culture involved visiting out front of their residences on the street. Once we better understood one another tension eased and by next fall they were putting me on their list for free admission to football games. Especially when I was young I heard my share of racial/ethnic slurs and did little or nothing to resist them.
Had I been born into a Klan family in early 1900's US of A I would have been ripe for doing cross-burnings, lynchings, terrorism, assault, and the like. Acts of violence and killings would not have been out of the question. Despite my humanity and Christian faith I know my “heart of darkness”. Yes, I am capable of being manipulated, convinced, and invited to oppress, discriminate against, and kill people who are different than me. How do I know this? Because I killed a piglet in Haiti in a blind rage once while serving as a missionary. Could I do it again with a human being? Yes.
When I was dumped from my Kansas church I moved to an apartment complex with cheap rent.
Right below my apartment a group of young African-American men would congregate most evenings. I was in ill humor from my feelings of rejection and being unemployed. For a period of time they seemed to get more uncomfortable with me and I with them. One day I met one young man in the laundromat and I explained my situation to him and he opened up to me. They were primarily from Florida on scholarship to play on the college football team. In Florida their culture involved visiting out front of their residences on the street. Once we better understood one another tension eased and by next fall they were putting me on their list for free admission to football games. Especially when I was young I heard my share of racial/ethnic slurs and did little or nothing to resist them.
Had I been born into a Klan family in early 1900's US of A I would have been ripe for doing cross-burnings, lynchings, terrorism, assault, and the like. Acts of violence and killings would not have been out of the question. Despite my humanity and Christian faith I know my “heart of darkness”. Yes, I am capable of being manipulated, convinced, and invited to oppress, discriminate against, and kill people who are different than me. How do I know this? Because I killed a piglet in Haiti in a blind rage once while serving as a missionary. Could I do it again with a human being? Yes.
Blog Question: How do I negotiate the feeling of being uncomfortable?
First, I notice it. Next I sit with raw emotion for a while. Then I try to figure out where it is coming from. Sometimes I discuss it with valued confidants or friends. Mostly, however, it is an internal (inside job) process.
To wit: Shortly after arriving in Upper Volta I encountered an older Voltaique man who greeted me, “Bonjour, patron”. It literally means, “Good day, boss (colonial foreman)”. Yes, he was expressing a common form of respect. He probably used this method of address many times with French agronomes (scientists, managers, bureaucrats, etc.). My Peace Corps training took place at an agricultural station.
As long as I live I will never forget the visceral reaction I had. I probably mumbled back, “Bonjour, monsieur”(“Good day, sir.”). At the time, and to this day, I feel as though I did not warrant or deserve this greeting. Not because I was not a colonialist. In a very real sense I was a neocolonialist invading this elders turf. No, it was because I considered the Voltaique man my teacher, patron, and fount of wisdom. Now it can be argued I was being insensitive to his desire to simply pay respects to my presence as a guest in his country. At best I was insensitive; at worst patronizing.
Whatever was going on in the exchange it was profoundly unsettling. While in Haiti I had at least one experience of feeling a similar level of unease. Frankly it took me a long time to figure out what was going on in the African encounter. By Haiti I was a bit more aware of what made me uncomfortable. Still it remains difficult for me to talk about it. That is what power, privilege, racism, and prejudice are all about. Automatic respect, especially as an “expert”, makes me uncomfortable. Giving respect to older people, greeting them as Ma'am, Sir, Mr., Miss, Master, taking my hat off in public buildings is different. That is what I was taught to do as a child.
Questions of race, cross-cultural sensitivity, basic respect, and imbalances of power, privilege, and prejudice are all involved in this meeting. Paying attention to moments when I feel uncomfortable is essential to growing in unpacking my own tapes and experiences related to prejudice.
David
First, I notice it. Next I sit with raw emotion for a while. Then I try to figure out where it is coming from. Sometimes I discuss it with valued confidants or friends. Mostly, however, it is an internal (inside job) process.
To wit: Shortly after arriving in Upper Volta I encountered an older Voltaique man who greeted me, “Bonjour, patron”. It literally means, “Good day, boss (colonial foreman)”. Yes, he was expressing a common form of respect. He probably used this method of address many times with French agronomes (scientists, managers, bureaucrats, etc.). My Peace Corps training took place at an agricultural station.
As long as I live I will never forget the visceral reaction I had. I probably mumbled back, “Bonjour, monsieur”(“Good day, sir.”). At the time, and to this day, I feel as though I did not warrant or deserve this greeting. Not because I was not a colonialist. In a very real sense I was a neocolonialist invading this elders turf. No, it was because I considered the Voltaique man my teacher, patron, and fount of wisdom. Now it can be argued I was being insensitive to his desire to simply pay respects to my presence as a guest in his country. At best I was insensitive; at worst patronizing.
Whatever was going on in the exchange it was profoundly unsettling. While in Haiti I had at least one experience of feeling a similar level of unease. Frankly it took me a long time to figure out what was going on in the African encounter. By Haiti I was a bit more aware of what made me uncomfortable. Still it remains difficult for me to talk about it. That is what power, privilege, racism, and prejudice are all about. Automatic respect, especially as an “expert”, makes me uncomfortable. Giving respect to older people, greeting them as Ma'am, Sir, Mr., Miss, Master, taking my hat off in public buildings is different. That is what I was taught to do as a child.
Questions of race, cross-cultural sensitivity, basic respect, and imbalances of power, privilege, and prejudice are all involved in this meeting. Paying attention to moments when I feel uncomfortable is essential to growing in unpacking my own tapes and experiences related to prejudice.
David
Pyramid of Hate Reflections Present In class
“I am not biased” Is what I thought at first, but I am only human so I have to be to a certain extent. My life has been interesting I have been exposed to diversity since childhood Born in India, early childhood in India, later life in Bahrain a beautiful Island in the Middle East, years back in India, and my adulthood in India, Libya, and USA. Wow that seems exhausting.
Will I be consistent with evaluating my acts of discrimination?
I cannot believe I am saying this and it hurts to know that I have biases and I do stereotype, may be the degree varies, but I know I have to change that. I know I am a good person at heart. I enjoy people, and love to be around them and want to live and make a difference, not just live.
-V-
Reflections from Pyramid of Hate
In my own life I can think of two ways in which I have been forced to come to terms with the pyramid of hate and how I have or have not fought it's power. Both come in the Acts of Bias section and relate to stereotyping and accepting negative information. As far as stereotyping goes, it has to do with the "running tape" that I think we all hear in our heads. Walking down the street, meeting new people, watching TV, it is easy to hear those things that we are inundated with by the media, family, friends, and strangers every day. Now, it's what we do with those thoughts that separates each individual. I am proud of my ability to identify those thoughts and where they come from, acknowledge them for their inaccuracies and move on. I know that if I was unable to do this, I would miss out on numerous opportunities to meet new people, hear new thoughts, or become a better person as a result.
In my "accepting negative information", it is not so much that I am hearing and accepting information, but rather that I am allowing that negative information to be expressed without presenting a counterpoint to it. This, as mentioned in my earlier blog entry, is especially poignant for me among extended family and close friends. I love what I feel and think about diversity and take a great deal of pride in my knowledge and understanding. However, it is very difficult for me at times to push my point when I know that it is going to make others uncomfortable that are close to me. While I know that what they are saying needs to be balanced by what I can say about the subject, I don't want to be the "pushy" one that they know (even though that person could easily be viewed as the "pushy" one in this situation) who is making them "feel guilty" for what they feel is either an innocent joke or a "truth" about another group. This is honestly one of my greatest weaknesses and something that I constantly work to revise and come to terms with on a daily basis. I simply want that person of outward strength in open social situations to come out more in situations among those closer to me.
In applying this information to the past, I think a lot about the Civil Rights Movement and many times ask myself if I would have been strong enough to be a freedom rider or march on Washington or help a black student integrate into my school. I want so badly to believe that I would have had the strength, that I would have had the voice, that I would have followed my morals on the path to empowering others. But...I just don't know. If I don't have the voice to question more simplistic comments or jokes here or there among extended family and friends, what power would I have against an established system of hate and violence? I want to believe in what could have been. I want to think I'd give it all if it was for the freedom of others, but I just don't know. It's the sort of thing that can drive you mad, that can make you question your true strength. In the end though, I think it's important, not whether we can say yes or no, but whether we can find an answer and say why is that? What makes me so strong or maybe not strong enough? What can I do to empower myself and grow in the future, so if I were ultimately challenged, I would rise above? It's in these answers that we find the introspective power to know what we can and will do in the future or hope to have done in the past.
Matt
In my "accepting negative information", it is not so much that I am hearing and accepting information, but rather that I am allowing that negative information to be expressed without presenting a counterpoint to it. This, as mentioned in my earlier blog entry, is especially poignant for me among extended family and close friends. I love what I feel and think about diversity and take a great deal of pride in my knowledge and understanding. However, it is very difficult for me at times to push my point when I know that it is going to make others uncomfortable that are close to me. While I know that what they are saying needs to be balanced by what I can say about the subject, I don't want to be the "pushy" one that they know (even though that person could easily be viewed as the "pushy" one in this situation) who is making them "feel guilty" for what they feel is either an innocent joke or a "truth" about another group. This is honestly one of my greatest weaknesses and something that I constantly work to revise and come to terms with on a daily basis. I simply want that person of outward strength in open social situations to come out more in situations among those closer to me.
In applying this information to the past, I think a lot about the Civil Rights Movement and many times ask myself if I would have been strong enough to be a freedom rider or march on Washington or help a black student integrate into my school. I want so badly to believe that I would have had the strength, that I would have had the voice, that I would have followed my morals on the path to empowering others. But...I just don't know. If I don't have the voice to question more simplistic comments or jokes here or there among extended family and friends, what power would I have against an established system of hate and violence? I want to believe in what could have been. I want to think I'd give it all if it was for the freedom of others, but I just don't know. It's the sort of thing that can drive you mad, that can make you question your true strength. In the end though, I think it's important, not whether we can say yes or no, but whether we can find an answer and say why is that? What makes me so strong or maybe not strong enough? What can I do to empower myself and grow in the future, so if I were ultimately challenged, I would rise above? It's in these answers that we find the introspective power to know what we can and will do in the future or hope to have done in the past.
Matt
Welcome Everyone...
I want to take this time to welcome everyone to our blog site. I just wanted to get things started and really get a good sense of how everyone felt yesterday went. I think it was an awesome adventure for most of you, but I believe that the training will get even better as we go along for the ride.
See you all tonight or tomorrow. I am anxious to read your blogs so let's get this party started....(Ok, this isn't exactly politically correct or makes one feel uncomfortable, but its how we handle the uncomfortableness that makes us successful, right? wink-wink)
Jay
See you all tonight or tomorrow. I am anxious to read your blogs so let's get this party started....(Ok, this isn't exactly politically correct or makes one feel uncomfortable, but its how we handle the uncomfortableness that makes us successful, right? wink-wink)
Jay
Blog for Monday's (6/16) Class
Present in class...
Q: How do you negotiate the feeling of being uncomfortable?
A: (348 words) As thinking, breathing humans, we all encounter uncomfortable situations throughout our lives. However, our personalities, upbringings, and societal norms determine just how we act and react in those situations. What I feel and think might vary greatly from the man in Charlotte to the woman in Bangladesh to the boy in Caracas.
In my own situation, I’d say it depends almost exclusively on the social situation in which the problem arises. If the people who I have met and know well, it can admittedly be a more difficult situation, one in which I have a tough time balancing the needs of others versus my own needs. I many times find myself subject to the thoughts and feelings of others if it means I can avoid causing trouble or “rocking the boat”. I think this is born from my natural tendency toward introversion, as well as my innate urge to please others. In the polarizing ends of the “fight or flight” spectrum, I’m sad to admit I find myself on the “flight” end of things.
As far as my ability to handle uncomfortable situations in settings in which I have little or no connection to the people around me, it’s almost as if a new person is born. I find myself more open to discussion, more willing to engage in discussion beyond the niceties of everyday chit-chat. Mind you, I don’t suddenly become a roving preacher of my perfectly enlightened thought, but rather, I simply feel more comfortable to offer what I feel I have learned and understood in my short time on this earth. A healthy back and forth that I admittedly will shy away from in my afore mentioned closer social relationships.
Ultimately, I think it is universally in any individual’s best interest to open up to their feelings, to push beyond the comfort zone in which they live, whether it be in expressing their thoughts, or processing the thoughts of others. Leave no well-considered statement unsaid or no passionate counter thought unheard, and you really should have no reason to second guess yourself in the end.
Matt
Q: How do you negotiate the feeling of being uncomfortable?
A: (348 words) As thinking, breathing humans, we all encounter uncomfortable situations throughout our lives. However, our personalities, upbringings, and societal norms determine just how we act and react in those situations. What I feel and think might vary greatly from the man in Charlotte to the woman in Bangladesh to the boy in Caracas.
In my own situation, I’d say it depends almost exclusively on the social situation in which the problem arises. If the people who I have met and know well, it can admittedly be a more difficult situation, one in which I have a tough time balancing the needs of others versus my own needs. I many times find myself subject to the thoughts and feelings of others if it means I can avoid causing trouble or “rocking the boat”. I think this is born from my natural tendency toward introversion, as well as my innate urge to please others. In the polarizing ends of the “fight or flight” spectrum, I’m sad to admit I find myself on the “flight” end of things.
As far as my ability to handle uncomfortable situations in settings in which I have little or no connection to the people around me, it’s almost as if a new person is born. I find myself more open to discussion, more willing to engage in discussion beyond the niceties of everyday chit-chat. Mind you, I don’t suddenly become a roving preacher of my perfectly enlightened thought, but rather, I simply feel more comfortable to offer what I feel I have learned and understood in my short time on this earth. A healthy back and forth that I admittedly will shy away from in my afore mentioned closer social relationships.
Ultimately, I think it is universally in any individual’s best interest to open up to their feelings, to push beyond the comfort zone in which they live, whether it be in expressing their thoughts, or processing the thoughts of others. Leave no well-considered statement unsaid or no passionate counter thought unheard, and you really should have no reason to second guess yourself in the end.
Matt
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