Seek First To Understand

Folks, I did set my team up a little bit last night for return favors by playing devil's advocate.

Tonight you might expect the following kind of rapport building techniques.

But since I didn't have a chance to check with Ji-Yun, you won't be sure until class time.

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Here are some ways to ask open ended questions:

Al: We see on the video that nine out of ten passers-by at the park simply walk by and not saying anything to the white kids who are spray-paining and vandalizing a park car. They appear not to notice. Let's say you were one of those nine passers by, what went on in your mind went you just walked by? Jimmy ....

Jimmy; well, I walked by these kids because, I don't know, because I think they are just fooling around with a friend's car.

Al: Just fooling around ... anyone else .... Rash, what do you think might being going on in your mind when you just walk by and not doing anything

Rash: Well, I don't want to speak up because well I was afraid to

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This could go on for a while and involving other students, just talking about basically why people would do nothing when they see white kids vandalizing someone's car in plain day light in the open.

I would let the conversation flow ... we might even write down some thoughts on the white board.

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Al : Now, with the black kids, the video says that a lot of people called 911, what do you think went through their heads when they made the call ..... Pete, what do you think.

Pete: I don't know. I just think these people are racists. As soon as they saw some black kids, they would think that they are up to no good.

Al: So you think they are racists, because they make the 911 call when they saw the black kids spray painting a car.

Pete; Yes.

Al, anyone else, let's get a little deeper. Let's see if I can change my question a bit.

Let's say that if you were one of those people who make the 911 call when you saw a bunch of black kids spray painting a car. What might go through your head. Mary?

Mary: Well, maybe I was thinking that obviously they are committing a crime. They can't be fooling around. I have never seen this type of people here before. And they don't belong here. They can't be fooling around with a friend's car. They have no friends here.

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In fact, as facilitator, I might just ask the kind of questions the reporter on the show asked. Just to let them talk.


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Ok,

So, if you were white kids, they were just fooling around, no harm to anyone.
Let's say you are right, the kids were simply fooling around and maybe even trying to create a
work of art as far as you know. How would you think you feel that if you were simply some black kids who just wanted to do some art project in a park and when they do that people call 911 on them?

Jim,

Jim: I would feel pretty bad I guess. I wouldn't feel I have freedom. I would walk around being worried all the time. I would get really angry.