Reflections from Pyramid of Hate

In my own life I can think of two ways in which I have been forced to come to terms with the pyramid of hate and how I have or have not fought it's power. Both come in the Acts of Bias section and relate to stereotyping and accepting negative information. As far as stereotyping goes, it has to do with the "running tape" that I think we all hear in our heads. Walking down the street, meeting new people, watching TV, it is easy to hear those things that we are inundated with by the media, family, friends, and strangers every day. Now, it's what we do with those thoughts that separates each individual. I am proud of my ability to identify those thoughts and where they come from, acknowledge them for their inaccuracies and move on. I know that if I was unable to do this, I would miss out on numerous opportunities to meet new people, hear new thoughts, or become a better person as a result.

In my "accepting negative information", it is not so much that I am hearing and accepting information, but rather that I am allowing that negative information to be expressed without presenting a counterpoint to it. This, as mentioned in my earlier blog entry, is especially poignant for me among extended family and close friends. I love what I feel and think about diversity and take a great deal of pride in my knowledge and understanding. However, it is very difficult for me at times to push my point when I know that it is going to make others uncomfortable that are close to me. While I know that what they are saying needs to be balanced by what I can say about the subject, I don't want to be the "pushy" one that they know (even though that person could easily be viewed as the "pushy" one in this situation) who is making them "feel guilty" for what they feel is either an innocent joke or a "truth" about another group. This is honestly one of my greatest weaknesses and something that I constantly work to revise and come to terms with on a daily basis. I simply want that person of outward strength in open social situations to come out more in situations among those closer to me.

In applying this information to the past, I think a lot about the Civil Rights Movement and many times ask myself if I would have been strong enough to be a freedom rider or march on Washington or help a black student integrate into my school. I want so badly to believe that I would have had the strength, that I would have had the voice, that I would have followed my morals on the path to empowering others. But...I just don't know. If I don't have the voice to question more simplistic comments or jokes here or there among extended family and friends, what power would I have against an established system of hate and violence? I want to believe in what could have been. I want to think I'd give it all if it was for the freedom of others, but I just don't know. It's the sort of thing that can drive you mad, that can make you question your true strength. In the end though, I think it's important, not whether we can say yes or no, but whether we can find an answer and say why is that? What makes me so strong or maybe not strong enough? What can I do to empower myself and grow in the future, so if I were ultimately challenged, I would rise above? It's in these answers that we find the introspective power to know what we can and will do in the future or hope to have done in the past.

Matt